Sunday, 30 October 2011

Exit. Chapter 17

Ed was probably sitting in his room, not thinking about school, dropping off the dreadful subject out of his head, drinking something warm and surfing the internet about his latest hobby, maybe talking online. But then it didn’t seem like Ed was a social person. My parents would call us loners and even try to make us befriend each other that Ed thought it was some stupid plan to marry their kids.

I’d chew on my nail, as his friend would shrug at me and let his fringe cover his eyes as Ed would ignore us both. I was too embarrassed to do something in front of them and apparently they did too. Brian, Ed’s friend would ask Ed questions from while to while more likely inside jokes, until my parents would let me out of Eddie’s room, calling that hour ‘brother-sister time’ which also included Brian from while to while, but I could see them calling it ‘loner time’ behind out backs.

I think Brian was the only friend who actually came to our house, since I never had close and I always was afraid of letting people near me, Jeremy had girlfriends and Ed just had Brian from while to while. I couldn’t understand how come they were close until once they drifted apart then back again like on and off relationship.

Brian was ok, but nothing special. He was a bit more social than Ed, but still was labeled as a loner. He had looks, which attracted girls who didn’t know him, but aside from that nothing special he held. He drew well, but he dropped it like a reflection of Ed. He was good at everything Ed wasn’t but eventually he’d get bored of it. Eddie was irritated at that trying to show that he was better, but Brian never actually minded. He just shrugged it off, calmly, switching the topic.

Mum started disliking Brian asking me weird questions, but I just tilted my head in confusion. I had my brother’s future in my head and I didn’t want to mix it with her own image, no matter if reality shatters hers.

I told her that once, receiving a slap.

I stared at her.

Had I imagined it?

Had I imagined the yells blaming my inner closure, the fear of reality, my obsession with different musicians, even if I had loved Jonny for quite a while now, they still thought I had others, as if I was a slut who did it through her own dreams.

Had I imagined my father’s blind accuses at Brian, who was innocent, at Ed who just stared?

Had I imagined Jeremy’s girlfriends, two of them running into the corridor as if it was a real fight?

Had I imagined Jeremy shrug and swears at each of us before going into the kitchen to take his afternoon milk?

Had I imagined Mason, leaning against the wall, his eyes pleading me, drenched in curiosity for me to go on?


This chapter is short because combining two small relevant chapters together would be quite stupid, as the next part is a completely different part of Exit. I'll stop here before I say anything else.

It's quite weird how when your stories just age and you end up closing your eyes in embarrassment at some thoughts like, seriously, I wrote that?

Chapter 18

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