Sunday, 29 April 2012

He doesn't say anything today or tomorrow

We drink when we don’t have money so forget the fact and we waste our money on drinking so that when we actually have no money our hangover will last until we get the money and we start all over again.

Men look at underage girls who sneaked in and a few who just had their birthdays and the stage smoke fills the bar from the cheesy dance floor where people are so drunk they just stand there and I keep ordering from a bartender who could be one of the underaged girls’ boyfriend or school shag.

He doesn’t say anything today or tomorrow and just keeps pouring until people run out of money and I gulp my third shot down, asking him to give me whatever he wants and I reckon he’ll give me something expensive but instead I get something with coke or rather pepsi as I see and I just press my head against the counter and he tells me to stand up and he works for the rest of the night.

I wake up as he tells me to leave and I stare into his eyes and his new haircut and the empty bar as he most likely will hurl me but instead he gets me water and coffee and doesn’t ask me to pay as long as I leave. I take the water bottle and as I vomit on the street I loose the coffee, walking in the middle of the road, this part of the country closed with the people’s eyes so I just twirl, opening the water bottle and splashing over my head, knowing that tomorrow will be a sick day, because I have no money and I can’t stand it, because my lipstick is half done and it’s left on all the glasses.

Home is too empty with food for the morning and to be bought in the afternoon and dinner becomes alcohol with one cigarette, two are too expensive to afford unless asked from some cheeky guy in the bar or once the bartender gave me a box and I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t.

I come back before pay day and he doesn’t give me a drink for free, but I follow him into the bathroom, pressing him against the wall.

I look at his name tag.


“Jamie, give me a fucking drink.” And I thrust my tongue into the teenager’s mouth and most likely he’s still a virgin with his messy hands and maneuvers and how he just lifts my shirt up and

I could be a prostitute, but then in my eyes you have to be beautiful to sell even if men like skinny grown women sometimes and I could sell.

He likes my breasts down until he goes inside me.

He’s not too good, so I switch and I make us both orgasm.

Jamie doesn’t get me drink, instead I get kicked out on the street to walk in the middle with a cigarette I had gotten from a girl as I left with an old lighter.


The title is a line from the story and I'm sorry for the delay. The next request will be up soon :3


Candy Cane

Saturday, 28 April 2012


I lick her neck and I close my eyes, sometimes shyness covering me up and she just holds my head in case I think otherwise so I keep kissing her body, feeling her tense and heat up through my lips as she sees and even holds my eyes as I suck her thigh as I feel her spread her legs in front of me and I start stroking her clit, feeling her go wetter and thrust against my fingers, as I travel up to press my clit against hers and she lets go of my eyes and I thrust harder against her and then I go back down to lick only with the tip of my tongue as she is soaked and her hips demand for more exposure.

She grabs my head and grinds hard as she comes against my mouth.

I suck Kate clean and sit up, hair all over my face and hair and I stare at her, my breath hard as she sits up and yanks my chin, staring at me, holding me there to catch my eyes as she puts my leg on her waist and thrusts, her own hair a mess and make up on the covers and she starts bitting my shoulder, pulling my leg harder as I start screaming for her to go faster and she does.

I gasp harder and we both come, our legs tangled and we both collapse on opposite sides and she rolls over to my side for the warmth and I start shaking.

We stare at each other naked and from the waist down a mixture of our come and fluids and I’ve got traces of her makeup on me as she has from my eyeliner on her cheek. I want her more, so my hand strokes her stomach and I spread out her lips and stroke her more and Kate grabs my hands and starts kissing me and I stop it, licking the inside of her mouth, our bodies together and I just wish for no stern looks we had and I want her and I grab her neck and pull her closer.

I can’t get enough and I pull her lips as I slide two fingers inside her and she strokes my clit.

We both come soon enough and we just suck each other’s fingers off gasping post sex and sit up.

I kiss her on the lips and Kate just stares at me and kisses back, as I take her hand and I stroke her cheek.

I kiss her again she hesitates and the connection but eventually Kate kisses back.

“You’re very beautiful.” And she kisses me full on the lips, pressing herself fully against me. She fixes her hair and turns around, detaching and standing up, pulling one of the bathrobes on her and throwing one at me and then handing me a cigarette with a chaste kiss on my neck.

“Drink? Food?” Kate asks realizing that I am guest in the house and I follow her into the kitchen.

She makes toast with her homemade gooseberry jam and I eat it, really hoping I was licking her instead and I blush and Kate just looks at the photos of her and Jamie scattered all over. Then she starts sobbing out of the blue, holding her hand to her eyes and I don’t say anything, I just hold her hand and try to kiss her, stopping halfway and she kisses me.

“You just wanted Jamie. I’ll speak to him.” And she leaves the kitchen, grabbing the box of cigarettes leaving me in the kitchen with all of Kate’s life staring at me.


Friday, 27 April 2012

Stir Friday

I sip my coffee, hat on, just waiting as Jamie stirs his coffee, looking up as I see him in the reflection and I can press my back against him, feeling his hair and he flinches slightly and I just take another sip, waiting for him to tell, instead he doesn’t and stands up.

After some wandering with him in the lead around I can see him sitting opposite me and yanking my chin and pressing a fast kiss, a quick tongue interaction and his coffee would be finished in front of my own eyes.

I would stir the new sugar he’d have and lick off the taste and unbutton his shirt, slowly stroking his chest.

“Daniel.” I hear Jamie say behind me when he’s back answering Alison’s question as she raises her eyebrows, also reflection and I don’t order another coffee until I’m asked and I nod softly.

“Those dreams, I told you and the whole thought. I think.” He keeps drinking and orders apple pie, his hair falling on his face. “Dunno just yesterday. It was quite odd.”

Jamie goes silent not saying how we meet, scratching the tip of his nose.

“He asked me. We went to his and he just, fuck, looks at me in this weird way and I just smile and fuck.” He keeps silent. “It’s like you just look into a person’s eyes and you’re thinking I want that person and you just do, sometimes it’s mutual sometimes you just have to wait and see.

We didn’t talk, too much tension.

I just kept pacing in the night in his apartment and when we were both asleep he offered me the couch which I took and he tucked me in for the night. I slept and the morning was long gone with the afternoon.”

“So did you guys have sex?” Alison asks taking a bite of Jamie’s pie.

“Yes.” Jamie swallows. “I felt bad for staying over and raided his kitchen, saw that he has no food and headed out to buy something. I came back and he just pounced on me, mouth on mouth, the bags dropped and I just kept frenching him, touching him whenever I could until I could get hold of tearing off his pajamas and getting to his skin.”

He kept licking me a lot, stroking my cock once he had his hand in my pants, his tongue teasing my entire chest and stomach as he just slowly stroked, himself just as turned on as I switched myself over to take his cock in my mouth and Jamie just gasped thrusting and holding my face as I kept licking and sucking, stroking his thighs, taking more until he came inside me and I kissed him again as he tried to regain his breath still quite scared.

“He gave me a blowjob and then we just, I thought we’d, well, we’d get dragged to the living room and he went inside me.” Jamie looks down, blushing, as I recall spreading him out, licking his back as he went on fours and how I kept kissing him as he sucked on my fingers.

“H-he came inside me. I came. It was wonderful, the gasping, the collapse and the feeling, I guess.” Jamie says and I don’t think Alison wants any more detail, so I lean backwards nervous.

Alison leaves the table for a while, getting a knife she had dropped mid conversation and I look to see Jamie playing with the coffee cup.

He doesn't say anything today or tomorrow

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Used Lighter3

She lights a cigarette outside as she opens the door to the store,looking outside and then going in to get an umbrella. She exhales the smoke, wandering round on the street, looking into the other shops, now dressed in clothing she and just put on firs thing in the morning and sneaked out.

Alison ends up going into a newsagent and coming back with more yoghurt, sitting on the counter watching me bored or serving customers, after a few hesitations I show her the small library I have in the storage for myself and we both flick through unread to me books and choose one each to spend the boring time of the day reading until we get three more customers until the shop gets busy before closing when everyone after their days and works come in.

We closed the store and Alison found windows which she opened and smoked through as we just stared at each other not touching, just her brief smile.

She opened all the windows, making sure that no one would see us inside and she flicked the lights off, maybe to see which items of clothing glowed or not. Alison puts her fingers on my mouth and open my lips with them, touching my longer teeth.

“Not sharp enough.” She says and smiles, throwing herself down on the floor and lighting a cigarette, the fire lighting the monsters of the store with all the claws of the old fabrics and I just sit besides her, my head on her shoulder.

“Good thing I got rid of the monument.” She mumbles and I don’t ask her anything just look at her black hair against everything so black in this room and curl against her, soon enough I fall asleep and I assume both of us to be sleeping but Alison doesn’t instead she grabs a book and turns on the light, leaving me on the floor for a bit as I open my eyes and goes back to get an old set of bed covers and wrap them around us.

“My mouth burns.” I say and Alison leans down to kiss me and her hand goes under my shirt as I feel excited and the pain gets stronger as she pull me on top of her, undoing my pants and stares at me and her chin starts shaking as I take off her jeans and get my hand in her underwear. I start gently biting her neck, my hand stroking her as I start thrusting against her underwear, licking her neck harder and harder she gasps, taking off my clothing and I sink in her, thrusting as she keeps kissing me and doesn’t let me go, holding my back harder and harder until I thrust, I’m scared that I’m bad for whatever reason and she goes on top for a bit and I just stare before we shift.

I lean back to stare and we both gasp, reaching an orgasm and I collapse on top of her, getting myself deeper into her her, trying not to say anything while I’m in, maybe shaking just as much as she did and she pulls the covers over us.

We end up ordering yoghurt and it seems odd that it’s another food to eat but I eat it anyway as Alison kisses me and kisses me again.

“I was bitten years ago.” She says chucking her yoghurt out, finished, banana this time and sits on the covers in the middle of the store so that all the army jackets, veils and just long dresses stare at us as we are the bonfire with the stories to be burnt and I just stare at her.

“I met him in a pub, he owned it, he used to drink blood from the customers who got in a bar fight while he’d aid them, he’d drink some blood, just did. Alex looked far too young for his age.” She made a light pause at his name and pulls her hair back. “I liked him a lot, he’d give me free drinks while I was a teenager and when I was of age he’d give me double, dancing with me briefly from while to while and I’d go there myself by the end of the day, I had my stool near him where he did drinks, sometimes I’d just sit there and read. He bit me once, we were making out.”

She doesn’t go into details.

“And he just bit me, saying he loved me and said he’s self obsessed. I moved in and we both had the bar. Then he closed it after a while, refurnishing it and after a few weeks he was gone, leaving me yoghurt on the table, saying I could eat it on a note. He appeared a few days later and we didn’t say anything and he disappeared again. Years went and I sold the flat, it’s a bar again but Alex doesn’t run it.”

And she swallows her own thoughts and maybe the ending, biting her hand, maybe an old habit and lulling at the ceiling and maybe counting the purple fabrics and she falls on the floor.

I wonder but I don’t say anything, instead I dream of Alex taking a hammer and smashing teh monument with a laughing Alison juggling ice cubes as we all clap to the humor.

And then we all form a circle with our hands, our laughter resurrecting the monument with Alison waking up with a scream screaming about Alex with a hammer.

Used Lighter4

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Stale Smoke In A Running Circle3

I wake up to see Alex nudge me saying it’s the end and we sit up and starts to feel like morning and the sky looks like ice as I barely glance at him but instead he just stares at me.

I feel too old as if I will be the ice in there as well and not the melted one, the clouds and the water as the sun starts to drift out and I wonder if the shops will as well and I’ll be able to grab something and just sit at a bench.

It’s too cold for this, but we sit anyway, Alex doesn’t go away and neither do I. We just stare a bit at the ground in front of us and I glance at the teenager.

I could kiss him.

Jamie kisses girls.

Instead my hands are deeper in my pockets, trying to make non existent holes and I think of the girl he’s seeing with her hair and her smiles and how she barely can reply, something like I were only I were chucked aside and then with an ‘oh’ I was chucked back into a band and I feel Alex moving a bit slower and looking at my hair how bitten it looks from that night I took scissors and while jumping on the bed with Jamie watching, the chastity belt of a relation upon his lips I had cut off bits off my hair and laughed.

I loved him too much and there was nothing Alex could do, as he just smiled at it, the wind and how cold it were getting, Jamie's old coat looking warmer than his nice jacket.

He didn’t move or do anything, neither did I.

Alex ended up suggesting coffee and we walked in a small coffee store, instead of a bar I had thought we’d sulk in, but due to time we made it to breakfast and he had gotten something I had eaten and he had watched me it.

He was still in school and listened to me missing out months as I sipped my coffee and he just smiled, envious and jealous and a bit of a crush feel most likely, I’m becoming too stale for my twenties so I try to smile.

We depart, at least I think we do, but instead he lies that he has the same bus and we go through London, my legs bent and his fingers trying to catch my hair and I want a smoke realising how many fags I’ve missed and once we get out Alex lights me one.

He wants to say he likes me and most likely I will be the subject of his masturbation, but he keeps silent and I let out too much smoke into London, my head leaned above to see the city with it’s feel and stroke my eyes before they close. I might be home.

Stale Smoke In A Running Circle4

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Humming Television Set7

The water drains and we open the window with Daniel’s hand sliding over my body and he presses his head against shoulder and licks my neck, his eyes closed and hand sliding lower and I turn towards him from the window we were both nearly throwing ourselves out with all the rain and the men in wet suits, all the ladies in busses and he catches my lips.

I bite his lips and I look at him harder as he strokes me and a finger is in. I look down as he pulls me on top of him and we watch each other for a while as I lean and we touch.

I blush even at the thought of our cocks touching and mine just hardens and Daniel pulls my face closer, his entire tongue inside my mouth and he spreads my legs out, it’s an act of desperation as I slide him in and hold his hands, fingers intertwine as I keep looking down, gasping, looking up, Daniel

Daniel is inside me

Mind you it’s the first ever sexual gay act

And he flips me over and I keep biting his shoulders as he thrusts and my breathing is breaking in two as my nails dig into his waist and I take his hips, my legs stretched out and it’s two men

in love

and fuck it’s supposed to be

beautiful and I raise my own body to meet the thrusts as the layers of sweat match the filled earlier bathtub with no bubbles so that we could escape in front of each other.

He cums.

I watch


one thrust and I bite his neck, grabbing his back and it bangs against my body.

We keep thrusting until we both soften and scream, sweat, fluids and our bodies on the bath mat and another thrust and we’re both hard again.

I pull his jaw and face, thrusting, meeting his thrusts and he sucks on my fingers, as I go with my hands all over his body and he starts touching my cock and I gasp, blushing, still red, licking, biting, kissing his neck.


I’m scared to break it and he looks at me, softening the thrusts, smiling, veil the shyness with all it’s patterns and he thrusts deeper as I gently tug on his lips

too barely to notice what is going on as we keep thrusting, Daniel even slowing the pace just to sink in both faces and both locked lips, as he gently pulls my cock as well, massaging the tip, stroking my balls, as our tongues start rubbing and the thrusts are just as vicious and we lock eyes

we have sex

again and again

it doesn’t end it feels like the years of tension gave us these gifts and I see the bus with his lips and I kiss him as we thrust again

“Daniel, I love you.” And he is just inside me, as I start shivering from the cold and after he slides out, we both walk out, fingers gently touching, lovers too much of a loud thought as I turned around and I smile at him as he pulls a bath robe over each and licks my nose, laughing and then my lips.


I also wanted the sex scene and YAY HERE IT IS :O :O :3

I love them too much:3 I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request further on, I think or believe I've got some ideas XD :3


Humming Televesion Set8

Monday, 23 April 2012

Close 2

We get the same hotel room after I insist on it a lot and we just don’t go home to our apartment, as we haven’t been there for months, Jamie’s idea to take the bride across the country and teaching her how to shoot had been useless and in the end she got shot.

We travelled a bit more, Jamie just using his nights by smoking and playing some guitar he had said was rare and after fiddling he recalled how he played in his teenage years, as I sat opposite him and he smiled lightly.

I had managed to kiss him then and he pulled me onto his lap, hungerly, rubbing my cheeks, stealing all the kisses before the death of Kate comes onto his thoughts and then he pulls away just to strum again.

He pushes the bed further and pulls the covers over himself.

I wait for him to fall asleep and go outside and open the locks of a small souvenir store, watching all the dragons smile at me and the patterns and alcohol. I open a bottle, try a sip and choke, hearing a noise. I fix my hair and take something from the till.

Small stuff is easily unnoticed no one cares, so I walk out even through the front door, chewing on some cookies I had opened in the store.

Jamie wasn’t asleep instead he sat up, seeing me.

He waited for me to sit besides him and the silence slapped both our faces and I looked at Jamie.

He grabbed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth, taking off my jeans and under my shirt, most likely trying to find blonde hair so I straddled him and pushed his head back, undoing his belt and gasping at Jamie inside me.

My arms started shaking with every thrust and how he lowered my chin to catch my tongue in the air, his hands on my breasts and I scream with every thrust, scared, thinking what would Kate do and what he likes and

“I love you, -” And Kate is heard and it’s all over my own pleasure so I look at the collapsing man and steal his cigarettes and take alcohol from the mini bar just to put everything in front of me in a line and I try to knock down the bottle so that they would shatter.

I shatter one and Jamie just breaths.

The next morning he says nothing, our breakfast to come.

I don’t say anything, I just want to go home and Jamie stares inside as I steal some money and the shops have what they need besides money which I’m taking, a customer which won’t go in, so I don’t.


Sorry for the delay and a bit of a short chapter and I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request :3


Close 3

What Difference Does It Make3

It feels like I’m sleeping with my eyes open and the ceiling is showing me everything the girls, the men, the food all around and Paul I feel sits besides me and I dream.

He closes my eyes as if I’m dead and I open them to see the lights dim and people wander around as he gives me a cigarette and I sit up, my bed the middle of the room and we both sit.

Paul takes lip balm and smears it on my lips, a boa around his neck and heels for whatever reason.

I flinch and I feel my own bed covers for a bit but instead I raise my head to see the ceiling covered in balloons and now a scarf going around my neck for Paul to choke me lightly for me to glance at him and he kisses my neck, eyes closed and fake eyelashes as the balloons seem to lose helium and I recall seeing Alison again on the street lighting her lighter and looking up to see balloons loose helium again or maybe we are just heading up.

Paul takes two and ties a bow on my neck from both, balloons the edges of the ribbons and Alison lights her cigarette, the balloons catching the fire and she notices me for a brief moment and her smoke smells of roasted meat which Paul I recall was once doing and another treat for myself.

I wake up and I feel both hands pulling me down, two pairs of lips on my own and I wonder too much feeling the clock as I pull Paul closer leaving Alison with all the helium started to get out of the balloons as they burst silently and fall like confetti and it feels like christmas with too many gifts.

Paul takes off his shirt and I bite his neck, take off his glasses as I push him against the wall, pushing the pillows away and staring at him and we both just stop, both breathing and more balloon left overs becoming rain and helium

helium catches my head

and I kiss him again, his hands

And I thrust forward and Alison and the helium

And the bed covers are around my neck

And Alison is on top of me, drinking water and throwing her lighter down and kissing me on the lips

And I make out with her as well, taking off her shirt

And Paul lures me back in

And the bedcovers are tighter and they are pulled by two people

And I scream

And I bleed

And all the bedcovers are torn as I see both of them, Alison doesn’t touch Paul until he traces a hand between her breasts and she looks at the ceiling to see all the girls and all the food and no helium and everything collapse and we all close our heads for our heads and the notes not to spring out

And the dreams

And the helium

And nothing matters when I wake up to get a glass of water, realizing that I am up and how dark and how my eyes aren’t really adjusted and I open the tab of water

Confusion breaks my silence as I stick my head under the cold water, the tab and I open my eyes just to see nothing because that’s what you need sometimes.

I drink from the tab, this time with eyes closed wanting to clutch someone’s hand really.


I hope you enjoyed it :3

Sorry for the delay, I'll try to put up the next story in a few hours or so as well and sorry once again for the delay, I hope you enjoyed Daniel's odd dreaming

Just out of pure curiosity Daniel/Paul or Daniel/Alison or Paul/Alison or all three? :3

<3 What Difference Does It Make4

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Glitter Clatter

It’s awkward in more glitter as the glue hardens in years.

I think I sparkle more than she does as we just sit with all the noise and clattering of forks and spoons and my dress feels like a sound itself.

“So how are you?” Rachel asks and fiddles a bit with her collar, as she just met me and I offered with the flower pattens and sparkle socks, my eyes no better and I dig my head in the menu until she just grabs my hand.

I speak of a letter which didn’t reach and I never sent and most likely the one she talks about is the same.

Our forks start clattering with the rest.


Sorry for the current delays, I've been with my birthday which is making myself legal XD I'll keep it at that and yeah:D :D :D

I hope you enjoyed the story, the initial idea was a bit different but I liked how it ended so kept it there

I hope you enjoyed it

Thank you :3



Friday, 20 April 2012

I Can't Wait

I chew harder on the candy so that it breaks into two shallow seeming to me pieces and they try to get my tongue and slice it so that my blood would become candy itself.

The tie is loosen on the way to school easily, a few more treats in the pocket taken from home as all seemed too scattered in the bowl from a recent birthday and three seemed enough.

One for the way, one through some lesson, staring at the board trying to understand a language or numbers and a third on the way back home if there was no one else.

Some houses were about to be demolished and their windows were broken to the extent that something metallic was there instead giving it an iron coffin feel and often I wonder if there is someone dead lurking there.

When I was a kid some boy trying to get the metal thing out and then everyone ended up sitting on the grass, discussing female breasts as if we’ve gotten a chance.

It’s that weird realization when you think, fuck, I’m seventeen and then you realize how dreadful everything was until you get a guitar and you can actually play even if some older sibilling pulls your head to stop as you’re still on your first song.

I chew on the remaining pieces of candy, wondering how long would it take to get the remainings of the song and stop mixing the cords a bit and just luying in bed, staring at the ceiling and hearing voices all over the flat all having the same mood or rather trying to show the same mood, as if all were connected and I was just on the other side of the peephole with my candy and chewing it harder until a woman quite older, not that older than me lit a cigarette and gave it for me.

“Hey.” I say and I exhale, saying that I’ve got candy and Alison laughs.

“Hey.” Is her reply and we sit for a bit in front of the building and I wonder how many people will drag themselves to the lesson.

I’m quite bored on Alison’s lessons, I stare at her though, by bored I mean on he subject but not when she talks, as I don’t really like scribbling and Alison saw me fail in guitar.

I give her my candy.

“Thanks.” We don’t kiss, making the teacher and student smoking as more students stroll by and now we have separate cigarettes and the drama teacher walks by giving us a brief glance as Alison just stares at his hand.

I should’ve taken more candy, but instead I lull on my cigarette, taking her hand behind my back and stroking until we don’t have more time left and we drift into the same class, Alison tying her hair in the process, finding another student to talk to about cubism.


It's called that because it's a good song xD

I hope you enjoyed it and I was intending to expand it really, since Meg didn't fit in this chapter :O oh, spoilers XD

I hope you enjoyed it :3


I Can't Wait2

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Light Up The Street Lights

The more we go the less letters the signs hold and soon either the sings turn off or the letters are so deep in this void that there are none.

Daniel lights a cigarette under the streetlight and we wonder where there would be anywhere to hide or ask for directions even if we know that we just go back and straight, but it seems like a plain excuse until the morning light shines and we’ll both flinch.

Daniel lights a cigarette and I light my own and we just exhale at the same time as if it were a dance mood and laugh at the absurdity of how you can go past nice houses and in a few blocks you’ve got signs missing and now a smiling Daniel.

I hesitate looking around for a bit and we just wait for nothing as Daniel takes longer to smoke.

I smile, he smiles.

Too much silence so we both reach for a second cigarette but don’t light it, I putit behind Daniel’s ear and he sticks his own back, laughing lightly.

Do something.

“If I asked you to go to prom with me, would you?” And Daniel laughs, most likely his attire wouldn’t change at all neither would mine really, most likely we’d be standing drinking and obviously trying to get drunk.

“I’d get drunk. Let’s get drunk.” I say but we have to wait until morning so we choose a bench near the local supermarket instead of strolling into a random pub and sit there, smoke becoming our breathing due to a chill morning creeping up and behind.

Sometimes I feel that the moment passes and it’s gone.

It doesn’t, right before we stand up after playing random games with shouting words aloud and feeling old and young at the same time, Daniel kisses me briefly and I stare into his eyes.

There is no denial, instead I just press harder against him and french him, deeper and deeper, I believe I’m even throwing him horizontal on the bench as he strokes and fiddles with my hat and hair, my glasses being troublesome but I don’t bother as I kiss Daniel whom I love too much.

We decide to drink a bit, not too drunk, in case we’d hesitate again.


I always hesitate with the title xD

Bus thinking as usual xD

I hope you enjoyed it :3


Stir Friday

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

43 cigars we smoke on the way back

I smoke his cigars under the table, not doing smoke rings, his turntables loud and happy with him and Olivia above me.

The door is locked under the mere principle of the household being a locked door is a locked door and apparently a woman in sunglasses with the man’s cigars as well.

I collect every cigar left over there is the ashtray after the finnish and I stand up, Jack taking off my round sunglasses for a bit, chewing some piece of food and then we both sit.

Every wednesday he lets me under the table as he fucks Olivia with a locked door.

The thought is I am here to avoid sex from behind the door.

Once I’ve sat in the chair, whirling and watching them fuck.

Twice I’ve peeked through a whole I carved out with knife I’ve found on the floor, he cuts her hair sometimes, just an inch and she smiles, so black.

And once I’ve taken his gun as he sat on the desk and started stroking my hair, going to the roots and skin, lifting my chin to place a kiss.

I pulled the loaded trigger and two bullets straight to the flesh.

32 cigars I’ve seen his smoke, so I open the drawer and take out 32 cigars watching him breathe out blood as the air goes red and the night swallows the light under the door.

I stab out the cigars on his bleeding dead body and his open eyes are sealed by layers of burnt.

32 burning holes into the dead.

I get a thirty third one and I smoke it myself, tapping my foot to everything.

I wait for the night to vomit out the early light and I don’t say hi to Karen or the children who are sleeping instead, smoking the thirty fourth I drag his body outside.

I could take him on a walk but instead I start my car, thirty fifth cigar.

Thirty six, seven and eight are on the way to the cemetery.

I don’t get him anything, I just bury the lone body, smoking up to forty and laying on the ground thinking of the man who told me monogamy didn’t exist to him and I’ve seen proof and the man is now dead despite all the beliefs I’ve put in other people killing monogamy for my own benefit.

Tomorrow Jamie tells me he dreamed of me carrying a dead crucified Jack as he smokes one of Jack’s cigars he stole a few days ago.


Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it and it had been an interesting request indeed, thank you:3

Off to bed XD G'niiight :3

<3 I Can't Wait

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Stale Smoke In A Running Circle2

It’s the wrong bus but it doesn’t matter as long as it keep me in London I’m fine, I’m always supposed to be fine, so my head is against the rear window and Alex just sits besides me and London is black today as we are so far away from everything and my eyes start closing.

Alex starts humming a lullaby watching me, sometimes stopping to devour another spoon of me and I look at him.

I would be a teenager too a few years ago and I gaze at him, as he hums the lullaby and my eyes are falling asleep with my head and the floor is gone now as I collapse into the ceiling and lower and lower into the water of stars as I sink lower watching the hole from the bus from above and Alex lullaby morphs into the fingers which stroke my shoulder.

“M, lullaby, m, you.” I mumble before wrapping my arms around my feet, my knees and Jamie, his soft face and the grin as I would sit drinking tap water and wanting to sit here again with even the same tap water and give up on food.

I let my head fall backwards exposing my neck.

The streetlights are now my eyeliner and make up and my mouth is opened as I wonder if he would trace his fingers upon my open lips and I would kiss them

I am in love with a man who loves me back

It’s so black and white like a board game and let me collapse on the floor where you would be smashed.

And then my arm starts aching and I wake up to see Alex holding it fingers stroking as his own head and arm are sleeping with him and the streetlights are gone again and it feels like we are going nowhere and standing so I just sit on him for a while and he presses his face against my neck

and I think we’re both still dreaming but when your body starts aching with your mind and you hallucinate

I see Jamie playing guitar on all corners as we both walk out, drowsy.

“I don’t know London. Visiting.” Alex says, holding my hand like the night.

I look at him.

“Same.” And he smiles.

He’s not old enough and I want to sleep on the pavement, my whole body now aching and the cold striking me through my clothing and the bus is in my mind.

“I tell you to lie besides me.” I say and my teeth chatter as we find a bench and I will imagine that you’re a blanket and that you’re Hince, because Jamie loves me and we will hold hands, dear and I collapse on the bench with Alex sitting on the pavement waiting for morning and myself to wake the sun.


I hope you enjoyed it and I guess my own sleeping state just triggered the sudden add to the plot and I hope you'll enjoy it and I'm back to my bus rides XD


Stale Smoke In A Running Circle3

Monday, 16 April 2012

Chain Smoking

If you do sexual favors for someone in a dream supposely you make them forgiven.

I saw my sister wander off with someone yesterday and I had smoked her cigarettes wandering around her room, doddling my thoughts until I collapsed on her bed.

I inhale longer and she walks in.

She’s not a virgin and she told me that yesterday and I wondered how wide would she feel and be.

“Hello, Rachel.” I breathe out and she comments on my state but instead she drops on her knees and take my cock in her mouth.

I nudge her head to a comfortable position and inhale stronger and stronger that I’m dizzy and I fill her mouth.

I bite her forehead as I lean lower and then her neck as she doesn’t do anything.

Maybe I am forgiven in real life as well.

“Let’s see how wide you are.” And I light another cigarette.

She spreads out her legs as I touch the fluids and I take out the cigarette from my mouth and place it between her vaginal lips, the burning tip becoming like a birthday candle which I can blow out.

Rachel is stretched enough.

Maybe I am her dream.

I won’t be the one causing her pain so I stick the cigarette lower, the burning tip nearly inside her and I take it out.

I grab her knees and cletching my fitsts I start fucking her, because God’s sake I’m not making love, I’m fucking and she’s gasping like a slut and a whore.

Harder and harder I thrust, lighting a cigarette whenever I can and when I come I take out cock and hurl it into her mouth, snapping at her to swallow and I look at her swollen body as she collapses on the floor.

I just give her a cigarette.


I hope you enjoyed it:3

<3 Glitter Clatter

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Humming Television Set6

Hailstorms try to reach me through the glass, as my cheek strokes the rain.

And I gasp as Daniel keeps pressing me harder against the glass as the rain goes by and I can’t do anything even move as his eyes are closed and he softens as he feels the hesitation in the skin and my fingers go through his hair pulling him closer as he keeps his head on my shoulder, both of us in underwear with clear enough erections.

I pull him closer and we stand there for a while, I wonder if Daniel’s feet are tired from the weird position as now both my arms are around him and I keep rubbing my cheek against his hair.

“I love you.” I say looking at the tiles trying not to think of Daniel so that I wouldn’t morph into the tiles.

“Same. I love you.” And he nuzzles my neck, kisses my jawline peeking at my eyes.

We smile.

Both too nervous for actions, so we stand there again in the weird position until we both shift and make a bath with sitting in opposite sides staring, toes touching with either white or red faces.


I hope you enjoyed this chapter and yes I was planning a sex scene but didn't in the end :D I guess I can be mean sometimes when I love the tension xD sorry about that:3

Feel free to request further and thank you:3


Humming Television Set7

Pulse Home

When you fall asleep on the train you think of the streets rather than the train and the people and the faces and all the imagery outside leaking into your mind.

And then your sleep seems like lucid dreams of streets with girls in plastic heels walking around your head with cigarettes and american smiles.

Everything seems to smell of fish even if the sea is far.

I don’t have my glasses anymore as they hang from my hand and I end up smiling sitting on the sidewalk, getting a pint from the ladies.

And then fishes start walking around the streets like decorations and it’s merely if I walk down from my dreams.

I wake up to turn around and see sheep with lambs scattered and I wonder how much longer it’ll be until I get home from all the paintings around me a few hours ago.


I'm sorry for the delay and it's been quite hard lately with both of my relatives dying within days of each other and I really love them and still do, so I'm sorry if I daze off sometimes and I got really cheered up by an anon a few minutes ago who really made me smile and write, I don't think I'm as brilliant as Sylvia Plath though:D thank you

Thank you everyone really for liking my writing as much as you do

Thank you so much

I got my first request I'd say even at the hardest point of life not knowing what to do before I had moved and ever since writing and everyone keep me going along with the people I love and two of whom died this february.

Thank you

So much

I hope you enjoyed this

I just decided to walk down where I live and just wander around and all the streets and everything came in mind, didn't use all I saw will use later:)


Sing To The Numb, To All Of Us

Friday, 13 April 2012


I think when we learn to fix a simple technology item from anything we should be able to turn on a human back again before the oxygen burns the metal.

And the television is broken and Kate is lying with her hair tied and make up just a bit smudged despite sex between both our bodies, I start to shiver and she gives me the cigarette licking my neck, her hand on my nipple and pulling.

She kisses my stomach down until she reaches my clit and I gasp a bit, her hand finding mine.

For a second Kate stops and the model looks up to glance at me, as I nudge my hips closer to her mouth and she closes her eyes her tongue out.

I stroke her hair out of place as her lips work on me, slowly, teasingly as I thrust against them wondering how red my skin would be in the end.

She strokes my legs before she goes up and we touch again.

We kiss briefly before our tongues rub and her fingers linger lower to stroke as I moan into her mouth, she bites my chin, taking the fingers out, myself gasping

her hips grind hard

She pulls my head against her shoulder, as my own fingers go to stroke her clit and I wonder the amount of men she had

and women


all the women who touched her


she teases too much

“G-go down.” And I shove her mouth and the hair clip is out and she strokes my stomach as I come thrusting into her mouth.

I start shaking.

I keep hearing the doorbell, I feel myself young again and that Jamie would see me and Kate.

That we would be arguing.

“Make love to me.” She pulls the covers over us, stretches my legs out and her lips are on my own but I can’t stop shaking now, the veil of tension gone even if her orgasm trigers mine and our tongues rub frantically as she plays with my breasts.

Kate collapses again.

She looks at the ceiling.

I look at the ceiling.

Both lives seem long and far from end.

I touch her nipple and she turns around.

Kate sits up, taking my t-shirt and putting it on herself.

I go on the floor in front of her.

Too skinny.

I run my hands up to raise the shirt and I go down on a beautiful woman for the first time with her legs around my neck, her gasping and it feels just as beautiful and I keep peeking at her and I make her cum even if by the end my whole body is shaking and I can feel Jamie’s hand on the back of my body, going lower even if he’s not here.


I hope you enjoyed this chapter and feel free to request ahead. And my on and off relation with Kate Moss continues. I love her with Peter Doherty or even by herself but just not with Jamie Hince, dunno, it's just no, no and sometimes a maybe XD


Thursday, 12 April 2012

Two inhaling old ladies

Two silver stars, one on the way out and one on the way back and I don’t step on either of them.

I’m wearing too much white as the whole sky which could be if you erased everything around and I keep getting it it all over a massive stab in the back of the body which just immerses itself into the blood and travels demanding a body or rather warmth which is gone over all the years and just sometimes only on death anniversaries the bones are reminded of living along with random people walking around in Nirvana hoodies.

I want to get married again to the dead.

The thoughts of suicide are too frequent and Kurt doesn’t visit, he isn’t supposed to with Francis out of touch from myself and even the magazines to spy on her like the rest of the world actually does.

The chain smoking and the loss of ashes just run itself out as if Kurt’s death was long gone now again

it’s a cigarette

you threw it away not caring at some point

to wash the cars bleach it out

with all the rain

and clouds

and all the weddings in head

Two old ladies walk by inhaling at the same time, we’ll never become those.

And I smoke by myself running into the star I mentioned.

All the men including a random walking bus driver look like Kurt

Inhale into the gone wedding


I had a long thought about this one, I saw a star on the street yesterday and one today closer to mines and decided to use them both, the ladies were seen by me in the town today, both actually inhaling at the same time and the bus driver was merely good looking and the idea of Courtney running into one who looked like Kurt seemed good at that time xD

I hope you enjoyed it and thank you and sorry for the delay


new kill

Just give me a few hours back
and hold me there
in your sleepy arms

As the laundry twirls behind me as if they could all be my mechanic wings with all the swirls and if all the cloth around me could fall in my mouth so that I could chew it.

I take out the bear from beneath the counter for us both to see the night and wonder what happened to the three p.m. which had been so many hours ago with the man who walked in, a bit hesitating but with a sharp smile and felt a bit too cold even despite the weather and the clothing he wore.

He didn’t comment on my hair, all he did was walk in with bad clothing and smiled at me, gave me his clothing and looked around for a bit.

At first he said that he would wait then he didn’t and he just walked off.

Neither did he come to pick up the clothing or myself or my teddy bear.

The night just ended with the window showing the day with all the imagery outside to change and maybe some sandwiches to share.


I initially had chicken but then recalled that they were both vegans, so was stuck for an awful while thinking. The sandwiches don't have to have chicken in them >.>

Sorry about that and I hoped you enjoyed the new really short story I'll try to put up the Kurt and Courtney in a few hours:3

Thank you


Tuesday, 10 April 2012

What Difference Does It Make2

I smoked a cigarette with her or rather both one cigarette nearly in all silence and she didn’t even take off her coat, her nails against the mobile, a bright green, a bit chipped on the edges and I looked at the floor.

There would be no conversation and she left soon enough.

Paul didn’t call today.

I went to sleep after another cigarette and some salad I had done watching the television for a bit, a quick sip of water and off to bed in the same shirt.

I woke up and put on a tie staring at myself and seeing no meaning for today.

Paul didn’t call.

Alison did asking how were I and just ending the call shortly afterwards.

I dreamt of her holding ice agaisnt a bruised brow and kissing off the ice, holding it between her teeth.

I saw her in a bar the other day, maybe with Hince and I watched her for a bit without Paul and I drank a bit.

I don’t think she noticed me so I just wandered off really.

The next day she noticed me as we just walked on a street, a newspaper under her arm and she had her gold boots on. Most likely she oredered them again and her hair had been a newly dyed pink.

I try to sleep but I fail so I keep smoking until an unlit cigarette just falls out of my fingers and the next day Paul calls me wishing to record and I wonder if that is when not only does spring feel like winter but I get the bruised skin.

I end up talking to Alison.

About vegetarian food, saying that I like dairy and how she had forgotten the taste of milk over the years as she had done it nearly the same time Jamie didm herself still not trying fish.

I wondered if she was fading off Paul and if I were as he just strummed a bit and he headed off for a smoke.

“I’m not sure about Alison.” Paul says before throwing a fag in the bin and I follow him as he leaves out of the room and then I come back to smoke alone, eyes closed wondering a bit about home all of a sudden and the taste of milk and how would it be not to taste a strawberry yoghurt for quite a while for breakfast or in front of youtube or anything really and just relying on fruits which is what I do but with less and I wonder if I should pour the vegan some milk, she’s not with Jamie.

And for a bit I recalled that she had been nineteen, most likely something like a fifteen.

And I headed back in, wondering what would she do if I actually started strumming instead of talking to her.


I'm sorry about the delay and my best excuse would be being on holidays really xD sorry about that and my holidays are nearly over as sad as it is so yeah xD

I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request further on and thank you

The story is turning somewhere I wasn't really planning it to but most likely my subconsciousness knows what the fuck it's doing xD which is how all my stories end up like anyway



What Difference Does It Make3

Monday, 9 April 2012


Too many people die without anything.

Too many envelopes are discarded before reached or burnt in this case.

I run a hand through my hair looking at all the newly dead in the line, all holding a sealed envelope, new ones given just to feel a bit loved and with a mere nod they are given.

I quickly look through all of them.

I recall wearing a black robe to job once and my boss just slapped me across the face, saying to respect the dead.

I found it humorous, at least it seemed so and I recall how terrified the people were when I pulled up my hood, imagery is terrifying when you open your eyes to death and then you are in a post office and the price gets given.

You pay whatever you ahead left with a price on the back side of the envelope, then I lick it sealed and a person is headed off.

I wore a suit again and Paul just nodded it off as I smirked, making coffee, wondering what else could I wear to scare off the dead.

I take a few marshmallows I bought in the vending machine, while the dead waited in cue for the envelopes to be given.

Sometimes we have busy days and until you read what happened there is no connection to what is where they all come from.

Maybe me and Paul were once alive but I doubt so.

I just recall waking up on this floor and Paul telling me to stand up and telling me about my job and he gave me cake saying today was my birth and that the same thing happened to him.

We stay here, checking a little post box every day until we are sent away.

Paul started checking it for us lately and making sure none of the dead were here.

Paul was my boss ever since and he’s been here long.

I give him a few marshmallows as he fixes his glasses.

“What is sleep?” I ask him, handing him the pack and he takes a pink one, plays it between his fingers.

“Some state to ease your mind for those who die, sounds like a prelude really.” And Paul chews it and I smirk.

“Good.” And we finnish off the marshmallows together.

Sometimes it’s me and Paul left.

Others wander off into other sections of the building, leaving both of us in charge.

Paul turned off the lights once.

When we had no one and just stared at me, saying I have a nice jaw and I just looked at him as he started flickering with the light switch.

I took his face in my hands.

“Back where-” I kiss Paul. “Homosexuality is banned somewhere.”

And I kiss him again.

Paul gets an envelope the next morning after we kiss and I find it out as I drink my coffee.


I was falling asleep and the idea of prostitutes paying their price with Daniel at the desk came to me and it took me a while to even remember it as I woke XD I'm on holidays so sleep can be fucked XD

Basically I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I liked it and feel free to request a sequel, leaving everything open as usual

:O what happens to Paul? >:D I don't know yet either XD

Thank you!



Sunday, 8 April 2012

Used Lighter2

She waits for a bit.

She checks her wrist, licks it and glances at me.

My lips ache too much when I wake and she goes with her fingers threading my hair deeper into the store.

I moan but she goes deeper into the dresses and leather jackets and the tutus and all those old halloween costumes, she comes back with a lighter she found in a jacket which is now on the floor, lighting a cigarette from my left pocket.

Alison takes me into her lap as I can barely move, the pain spreading and she just smokes, looking upwards.

By the time I wake again I see the shop still closed, a few people scattered trying to understand the vampire girl strolling around with scissors in hand, cutting some fabric and stitching a lot of stuff together as the owner lies in pain.

I manage to raise my head in the next few days and she just slams it back in on the floor and I hiss, biting her fingers.

Then she takes my chin as it shakes and opens the door with all the people in fake frames and short pants.

We sit on the sidewalk as the store is opening with a DONATE BLOOD TO A NEW VAMPIRE with the name of the city misspelled by the vampire.

In the end some blond girl gives me her wrist and I start sucking as I wonder how does the society react to a second vampire and I shiver as Alison snatches the wrist away from me and all I feel in my mouth is salt really.

Alison asks me where I live as I manage to walk slowly and she takes my arm around her.

“I live nearer.” She doesn’t, it’s a block further from mine but she opens the big wooden door with pigeon killers above it with a few feathers scattered on the floor.

I hug her from behind, collapsing into the dark as she closes the door behind her and we are left to sleep in a place with no windows.

We wake up and I see peach yoghurt in from of me.

“It’s a treat.” She smiles weakly and goes a bed, the bed covers wrapping themselves around the girl, she then remembers and takes the clothing off, glancing at me and smiling, moving to a side.

“I don’t like the monument in front of your house.” Alison says with a light struggle, kissing the back of my neck as we take off my shirt and my chest appears to be slashed as she runs her nails over it. I simply assume that it might be some weird side effect.

“I didn’t put much venom in you, that’s the thing.” She explains the slashed chest and licks a wound as it stings and I take her hear, threading it just like she did and Alison licks lower.

She undoes a button, licking right above my cock and then she takes them both at the same time, taking it in her mouth and sucking until I thrust in her mouth and I come.

“Vampires don’t really have sex.” She says.

“Why is that?” I reply.

“Scattered.” She smirks and leans against the wall as I go down on her and she flips me over until she is sitting on me and I run my hands up her theighs, maybe returning the favor and she comes as well.

I keep sucking her, licking her for quite a while until she comes quite a few times until I’m fully erect again, but we don’t do anything about it, she just turns herself against a side, I couldn’t see the wall, just the dim lighted bed most likely by my own vision and I pulled her closer to me.

“I don’t like the monument in front of your house.” She mumbles again as she drifts off to sleep.

We wake up and we eat yoghurt again, maybe dairy is the new milk as we sit on the floor this time a pink, red and yellow rug which seems like it could’ve been in my store, maybe sneaked off as the other shop assistants complained how dusty it were.

I wonder of she ever went behind the clothing and slept there, using boots as a weird pillow, as she likes rougher beds and pillow but big soft covers and maybe my arms.

We smoke a cigarette and she doesn’t say anything, finishing the yoghurt.

Alison places a hand on my cheek and frowns a bit, before going back to bed, her back turned but the bed seems more narrow and I sleep on the floor. She tells me to go back to the bed eventually and I collapse looking at the ceiling which now has fake stars which glow and I ask her where do they come from and she says she bought them in London while I slept saying that my sleep is longer than hers that she can travel with my wallet open.

I don’t say anything instead I invite her to mines and she agrees, as we both see the bars on one of my windows and the monument with the scattered leaves.

Alison sits on it, lightening a cigarette, looking at the sun like the instructions say, light goes in her face as she becomes more pale and then she turns towards the shadows she must avoid and I hug her.

She doesn’t like the monument in front of my house and hisses as we go in my home, opens the window to take off the bars and destroys the thing in the morning as I have a dream in the night that she disappears in the light.

Alison starts the morning with a hammer and acid to get rid of the thing which haunts her, the monument and she takes a smoke on it’s place, fading lightly until I briefly kiss her ear, she hates the place anyway and we crawl back into her home, making it twice.


The monument is actually quite freaky, should find out more about it and after a stroll trying to get inspired I found what I thought could be their homes and I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request a sequel and thank you.


Used Lighter3

Saturday, 7 April 2012

They are married to each other

I try to catch Nicky’s cloth, the blue of his shirt and to take the grin off his face.

Rachel catches Nicky’s arm instead and the alcohol is screaming for my mouth but the bottle is far too away from me.

Rachel whispers something into Nicky’s ear.

Then Nicky whispers the promise he gave Rachel and then the bottle is handed towards me and maybe my choke is like a nod and their hands land on my back as their tongues rub exactly in front of my mouth.

And I keep drinking as their hands travel to the back of my neck.

Nicky is married.

Rachel is married.

They are married to each other and I am married to myself as I keep sulking into the bottle as they start taking off each others clothes and Nicky grabs her breast as I stare into both of them and I want to leave this pub which looks like everyone wants to fuck me in it.

I leave them for a bit and I try to get out of the small town until trees would reach me but the longer I can get is to the next block and I hear Nicky and Rachel. Rachel and Nicky talk to me but instead I close my eyes and sulk, maybe a few tears get out.

Nicky is married.

Rachel is married.

They are married to each other.

And I try biting the bottle as they take one hand each, Nicky holding Rachel, Rachel holding me as I don’t give one hand to Nicky.

I try kissing Rachel and she doesn’t taste like Nicky, but I start making out with her anyway, knowing that Wire had touched her all over most likely and I bite her neck, wondering what if she could be a Wire daughter and I take another sip of vodka.

They rely on the alcohol.

I rely on the alcohol.

And I kiss her harder, not touching Nicky, raising Rachel’s shirt as we are near their house and then Nicky touches me.

I feel nothing, but I stick my tongue foreward and Nicky has an erection, I get one as well and the alcohol makes everything a stage and the strings are all over, as if I could trip over and we do trip on the floor and Nicky is on Rachel and I am drinking harder and harder watching them.

They are naked and I have a shirt on as they both lick me and I shove their heads lower and lower until I gasp and I come between their lips and they lick me clean.

I take Nick’s head as he keeps sucking me as Rachel is touching herself to me and her husband sucking me off.

It should be sexy so I thrust deeper into Nicky, him gagging a bit but I look at Rachel who is quite near and then I push my band member away and I thrust inside the woman and I fuck her until I come, the bottle gone and the liquid soaked up by the floor as Nicky takes me by the shoulders and thrusts inside me.

I am between them.

Nicky is married.

Rachel is married.

They are married to each other.

And the liquid gets soaked.


Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it:3

<3 Chain Smoking

Friday, 6 April 2012

Midnight Potatoes

Jack takes a slice of pepper from me as I glance at him and the drowsy state the house is in with Alison on the couch and Kate on my bed.

He steals some more vegetables as he sits on the floor and sometimes glances at the time as if there is some other magical midnight in which we will both disappear and maybe along with the children and all the wives and the lovers.

Jack lights a cigarettes as Alison had tried all the cigars before.

He ends up taking my guitar and strumming the Hofner unplugged, signing some song which I’ve heard yesterday, maybe something long and forgotten when we both met and only he had been married.

I make midnight soup for the both of us.

We try to catch the stars and get potatoes instead, barely glancing at each other, silence being our only noise and the only touch between our bodies.


Sorry for the light delay but I think I'm more back on track now XD I hope you enjoyed this brief Jamie story.

I was in bed stuck thinking that I needed a plot, morning being the next day already and the idea just went in my mind, most likely me thinking of wobbling into the kitchen to get food.

Thank you

<3 new kill

Humming Television Set5

We start brushing our teeth together, maybe due to the lack of time and same alarm clock and being in the same room.

We booked a same room, not to save money, just both said the same and it’s not really a big deal now.

I glance at Daniel, but he keeps looking at his teeth in the reflection and I try to just look at mine.

But in the end we just spit out the water and I feel his hand on my back and I keep my head down as his hand travels up to my hair and I just lock my fingers together as he presses a kiss at the back of my neck.

I don’t do anything before he lets his teeth press against the skin.

“Daniel, we’re late.” For whatever we have to be, it’s like we’re sucked in a void with my own denial and desire to close my eyes and escape the future too scared even of the greatest outcome.

He bites the back of my neck harder, I open my eyes to see his eyes closed.

There is something hanging beyond explanation already and it’s too scary to face the mouth and the teeth to whom the bite belong as my thoughts a few seconds ago were to the fast shower I was intending both of us to take. I blur out the fact that we need to shower and Daniel’s teeth are on my mouth now, the water off and the shower curtain open.

I open the water and I’m the one who jumps with the icy feel and he doesn’t.

He just holds me tighter as I keep my eyes open as he kisses me, too tense until he kisses more and I ease, the explanation way too clear and the thing we are late for gone.


I'm very sorry for the massive delay and this chapter was actually intended to be before the previous but then my plane got delayed and the idea to stick both of them came and I hope you enjoyed both chapters.

Daniel was supposed to hold, but didn't, I usually listen to music and Baby Says by The Kills just triggered it really, uh, thank you The Kills xD :3

And thank you feel free to request further chapters!!!

<3 Humming Television Set6

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Humming Television Set4

The phone rings.

Actually everyone’s phones are ringing sometimes, most likely all are just asleep and Daniel seems to be fiddling with his mobile, putting his arm around me, ruffling my hair as I keep taking off my glasses and fixing them.

“Just calm down.” He says, a bit worried himself most likely over how red I look over the sudden wait for planes.

“No.” I start rubbing my temples.

Then the sounds morph into silence with a woman announcing our departure.

Daniel kisses my forehead.


A really short chapter, tease even.

What is happening to me right now, I'm being a Paul about it really XD

And I'm off to board now, actually, so will write a longer chapter in the plane hope you enjoyed this short tease really and sorry for today/yesterday's delays!!!

<3 Humming Television Set5

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Stale Smoke In A Running Circle

The arm is slowly going on my neck and being trailed, well, the fingers are, slowly trailing up and down as the rear window is too cold and air is now the smell of stale beer. I just look sideways to see nothing besides my hair trailing everything on my skin, maybe making a suicide attempt, not enough alcohol was bought with the low amount of money and need to at least buy a night bus ticket.

I get out in the middle of nowhere those places which are far from London and have Waitrose somewhere tucked in the high street with pharmacies for whatever reason making their own lives and countrysides of sorts.

I sit.

I wait for another night bus, lighting a cigarette and breathing out the smoke, wondering when would the bus arrive and the smoke of beer is still stale and you cuddle yourself feeling the medicine of the night, the chill going in as a teenager walks and sits besides me.

I just keep smoking.

“Can I have a cigarette, ma’m?” He asks me, brown eyes locked on me, baggy clothing.

I nod, figuring that the age gap should be about three or so years, making him in the golden teenage years.

I light him a cigarette and give it to him. He inhales, maybe coughs a little and hides it.

“Are you from London? Not the prettiest place to be, you live here or visiting? The pub on the high street is shit.” He says now smoking or faking it real.

I just don’t do anything instead I wonder if he will continue bragging but he doesn’t.

“Are you even old enough to go in there?” I ask, chewing on my cigarette before taking a long drag, wondering what the fuck would Jamie be doing, awake or not.

“No, but they just don’t bother IDing you.” Seemed like a lie to me, but then there should be some places, I came here old enough to drink.

We don’t say anything, but I wonder if I should have asked if people were drunk on the bus or were it some type of stale beer in the end. I look up to see the stars shake and fall as I open my mouth to catch them and the teenager just sits besides me.

“I’m Alex.” He says. I’m I his first girl attempt, but instead I keep my tongue sticking out.

He thinks I’m drunk but I’m sober against the sun and I dig in my hands into the plastic bench and he keeps staring, maybe I’m a crush already or in his head I’m developing into something else. My hair is barely reaching my shoulders and it looks straight enough today and the old leather jacket is Jamie’s from many years ago which I had taken on the way out, wanting Jamie as he had been doing breakfast for the girlfriend all over.

My bus arrives but Alex takes it anyway.

We both drop the cigarettes and we’re back to the stale smoke and I see a beer can, I feel tempted to drink from the liquid but I don’t and after a while, Alex offers a can he’s got himself, his arm going around my neck and it feels like London all of a sudden only I’ve got a clingy teenager instead of a grown man.


I hope you enjoyed it!

<3 Stale Smoking In A Running Cirle2

Monday, 2 April 2012

We Start Making Love That Night

I keep knocking, a bit sleepy and the cold black air is stinging as I wrap whatever I have on my body, not opening the luggage. Jack didn’t open until for quite a while and when he did we both didn’t say anything, departing right before Jamie’s wedding, myself saying that Hince would go for me.

Kate announced she’s pregnant yesterday and I just took a plan not even bothering to continue anything, Jamie knew. After a while he called asking me not to go for Jack, saying that he loved me but not as a wife, so I just hung up again, used to not touching the eyeliner, like Katie didn’t.

“What?” Jack looks stressed and he’s in a plain sweater. After a while he gives me some jacket and we go inside under all the dim lights and shadows of both marriage and children lingering.

“I don’t love you.” And my body is shaking and I am in the corridor.

“I know. Neither.” And we both smile for a bit, maybe both not knowing what we believe but most likely we just don’t know which out of all the tastes we feel for everyone mean, we’ve lost all the name tags. He makes us tea, a humming talk show in the background as he says Karen just left and had been watching it.

He runs his hands through my hair, his hand now on my cheek, stroking it as I slowly start crying and he doesn’t move closer and I really don’t want him to. I look at Jack and in the end he makes us dinner, I keep quiet about the meat but he doesn’t give me any in the end.

We end up eating and I fall asleep on the couch watching something I cannot recall, thinking that he were to kiss me and that we board a train like in a Journey To The Past and maybe there was a war going to rise and I’m old again, it felt like it, watching Jack without anyone concrete just shadows, but in this case divorce rather than a distant life.

And I just kept watching instead of us talking wherever.

Love is lost for a word.

And we feel to old to try when I wake up, Jack’s not here, instead he walks in smoking the cigarettes he found, mine, in the kitchen and lightening them, looking down on the floor.

He looks at me.

We both break inside.

“I’m always the lover, aren’t I?” Jack just nods then shakes his head, walking closer towards me and starts kissing my neck, raising my head above our heads like the night and it falls as he reaches my lips.

Jack isn’t married, but maybe will be.

Next morning we go out, we end up having sex in the night after crawling into the bed, three am, ironic for White or maybe all the clocks show that with all the photos of his women scattered and how I just had him inside, too loud, trying to mute the man I’ve trusted and I tell Jack in the morning how he said we would get married, my hair in the plate that he washes it later.

Jack showers with me, holding me all the time, his shoulders becoming my house of residence but we still don’t say anything to each other.

We make it to sleep another time and I recall our arms touching each other and in the morning we do take a train, somewhere just to avoid calls and the life we go back to once we’re done.

I keep staring at him in the train and he stares back, we don’t say anything until we reach the little shop, strolling in, fingers touching, cutting all long loose threads we don’t even see anymore to be willing to choose our own future and our own love.

We start making love that night.


The title was chosen for the circle composition really and Journey To The Past is an amazing novella actually.

I hope you enjoyed it and thank you, the idea came to me when I got the request and the train came to me using the overground train.


43 cigars we smoke on the way back

Sunday, 1 April 2012


She has really small breasts.

Does she even need a bra as we wander in shops, both silent and trying to glue each other together due to the man we are both quite attracted.

We just drifted around, barely even saying anything and ended up going somewhere to get food, Kate barely getting anything besides a drink and in the end she got salad and meat. I wondered if she would actually vomit it or pump it out or just

She just held a fork in her hand and twirled it a bit, her hair up and I recalled her annual income.

“Did you ever do girls?” And she just swallows whatever is on the fork.

“I’d want to. I’ve kissed a few.” She keeps chewing, this time looking at me like I’m the food, I just drink and it’s not the meat. “You?”

I just shake my head.

“Y’know we can like.” And she swallows and drinks, nudging my hand and then goes silent.

It shoudn’t be too attractive, I always remember how the imagery of them having sex would come to mind on the wedding and I prayed there wasn’t a tradition I might’ve forgotten and they would do it on the cake instead of their death.

Kate eats some more and I don’t finnish my dish. I look at the one bag we both have from a vintage store.

“I’d I mean, I wouldn’t mind. Neither would Jamie. Didn’t you guys have a go?” Kate gets a bit tense, maybe it’s some hidden couple we both shagged the same person so we have the fluids?

Nothing attracts me about her and she seems like a log more like than someone with sex ideas or even plain movements.

She just stretches her hand to mine and strokes a finger.

“C’mon, will be fun. Didn’t you ever want to just-” She chews and swallows and sips water, fixes her hair. “Plainly fuck a girl and scream?”

They take my plate away.

“Any fantasy you have?” Kate asks.

“A threesome.” I blur out, thinking about even watching them have sex for a brief kiss or palm of the hand.

“Sure. If I like you in bed.” She smirks slightly.

She suggests choosing underwear.

Kate spends hours and doesn’t touch me, saying to heat it up as I ask her not to and she gives up, but most likely there is something for me.

We go back and Kate asks to change as I sit on the couch both Jamie and the child gone. I light a cigarette as her tongue is on the back of my neck.

“You think Jamie wants you, just to grab you and-” She starts taking off my shirt, stroking my chest, as I try to hold my body but

“Jamie inside you.” Kate says going in front of the couch, naked and no lingerie bought worn.

The model sits on top of me, stroking my face, saying that I was very goodlooking and that she wants to see my body.

She goes down on me.

Quite good.

But too fast, distracting me at the last moment which leaves her to go up.

Hesitation but we have sex.

On the couch and then she drags me to the bedroom where I can see all the Jamie photos and wonder how will the threesome actually be.


I've been keeping stories open as usual and this one is no exception I guess:3

I hope you enjoyed it and thank you

Sorry for the day delay

<3 Threesome2