Sunday, 19 August 2012


It feels as if you’re always getting driven to the left where the devil is as you stand in the supermarket and you just walk out and you see fires around your eyes and hell as if the book will be given to you.

There are different songs some about how dark and ugly drawing with black paint is which I still hesitate to call nice and can find plagiarism, so I throw myself upon the first man I see who has a shirt with a bear with his eye already starting to get torn off.

And it’s someone who I don’t know and will end up in a blur as all the humans you see in the street and even as I will be having my hair torn off and the photo taken with droll stirring up the blood on my face I still won’t remember his face or how the bear looked like if you concentrate a lot you won’t even remember how your cat looks like or the smell of smoke until you breathe in or your night is crumbled by the thought and memeory thrown at you like a dream.


I'm literally doing this while traveling XD basically I hesitated a lot as I had literally no idea who Max Bemis was and being well, studying to be a psychologist and stuff like that interested me and I even ended up reading about an hour ago of different stuff again xD yay, basically it did end up being a short story and I had enjoyed it and well, it is interesting and I guess request? And sorry for the lately short stories and thank you:)

I chose Hell as the title because if you get the word right it just fits.


Saturday, 18 August 2012

Ticket Man

My hands feel heavy as if they could detach and I quickly see myself putting a finger to my eyebrow and fixing the pencil I had applied and I hand him a bottle of milk because I cannot hold and I know that he had ordered coke and strolled in because it is the start of the day and we open at five as if we are fairytale and I bow lightly seeing Jamie raise my leg and fuck me hard with a drunken breath both of us in the gents because that’s what we are given and the hormones slipping down.

I watch him look at me with drunken eyes and he breaks the bottle just as I had served him milk instead of coke.


I was listening to Ticket Man by The Kills and yeah:) It had been a think of the unique request as I was thinking and initially I had a milk man and then it also reversed points of views and the fact that I decided that I wanted a male fan and I love how short it is and yeah, thank you:)


Thursday, 16 August 2012

Hold The Flag

It’s too complex to be in four walls when you move and the snow falls and covers all your imagination and I walk upstairs the cottage to see everything swirl until I fall upon the covers and take off my glasses and ignore all the people who will start their calls with saying Karen, this is happening.

I just stretch myself wondering what was the meaning to just go up north in the country and be surrounded by snow and take longer to get to work, start the car and freeze myself until it’s warm and I just shove the books away, throwing a bunch to give to charity and it feels dumb sometimes to erase heterosexuality but sometimes the solution should be radical as I light a cigarette and smoke fills the room shielding the windows from the inside and now not only the snow lurks in the betweenings.

I wander off after I arrange the bookshelf alphabetically all about women who love women and a bit of Burroughs, only the gay ones, pulling a coat with a big blue hood and I feel like I am from a fairytale and with a cigarette between my teeth I drive with The Virgin Suicides soundtrack in, a reminder of how I had found Kirsten Dunst too attractive when I was younger and how I had my first sex dreams dancing with a woman, holding hands.

I open the window, sitting in, knees against the wheel and I turn the car off, walking out and walking into the small rainbow looking bar and I throw the cigarette out, showing the ID being over twenty and walking into the rainbow field with men and women going nature, a few trannies dancing on the dancefloor, men drinking and women laughing and I lean against a couch, not even getting a drink as I see a women with long hair walking past and laughing, holding her brow and sipping her alcohol in a over grown long sleeved gray sweater and I smile at her just to get drunk with her in a few drinks.


Feel free to request :)


Hold The Flag2

Friday, 10 August 2012

Used Lighter5

I wake up cold in my dream, when your city is actually amixture of everything you’ve seen in your life with television and even if you’ve never watched it and never travelled you’ll get a mash up of the streets and

I remember I was a kid and it was cold and I had bed covers and they didn’t cover my shoulders and they were cold

“When I was a kid.” And Alexander appears with a bat grinning, a tooth missing as I see someone grab him from behind and disappear as he wings the baseball bat with all his might at my face and blood flows in the sewars of my mouth as I can still see my eye but I see and I feel the blood flowing as its tails dip into my nose and then I get my own bat given to me from the same man and I kick him and snap the bat in half by a hitting his ribs and he laughs as I stare at his teeth and he looks up at me, laughing and then hitting me in the balls full force.

I wake up with a teeth ache and I come too see in the mirror as I see Alexander now wondering like a ghost in the apartment, even brushing his teeth as well and he sits on the sink, exposing his crotch still covered in fabric and by spreading out his legs.

I swallow and spit out the tooth paste and Alison stands near me as I look at Alexander who glances at Alison and I touch her back lightly, sliding in and fingering her from behind, her backdoor staring at Alexander in the eye.

“Go on, touch her, bitch.” He smirks and takes out his cock.

And I bite Alison’s shoulder, I close her ears, thsi might be a dream, she looks like a doll again even if I see her in the mirror with myself now shaving and trying to stare at my pubic hair, I’m too balls literate today.

So I bend Alison over, the doll now with woll blonde hair and I spread out her butt cheeks, her ass is fine and I go in, gasping at how good it feels and Alexander grabs my chin.

I swallow.

“Go on, I’ve tasted Alison.” And I kiss Alison in the mirror and in the dream, reality and vice versa. “I taste like Alison. I am Alison.”

And Alexander laughs as he comes on his hand and the goo slips down on the floor and in reality its just water from Alison’s hand.

He comes on the doll and throws her out, my come coming out like a string and I take out my tongue.

I’m alive and the mirror moves as I tilt my head sideways to glance and consume and stare and product.

“Every.” He points his finger at every word and shakes it from side to side. “Has homosexuality.” And he laughs hard and rough as if he’d be penetrating me for the first time in a long while in a cold bath, immersing my head in the water with little polar pears the size of bugs and cubes swimming.

“Fuck global warming, eh, Jamie?” And he slaps my butt and pushes my head back in, as if it were a blowjob and not my death.


Feel free to request more


Used Lighter6

High Addiction

When you become of age when you sit alone in an airplane it feels like everyone who walks past you might be a coincidence in sex and everyone seems to speak Portuguese as if it were an inner flight connection and people laugh at my ability to speak English and check my passport twice, three times and four and ask each other stuff even take out a book and what matters is how the service is zero and how rare English is even with the amount of tourists and advertises to travel.

I lean back so that I will see the window and I wonder who will the other person be, hopefully it would be someone nice and someone to talk to but that’s just in my head as I bite my finger, staring at the tempting no smoking sign and maybe no one will appear after all and maybe the whole plane will be empty and I will be able to smoke and I wonder if I do nothing will they tell me to turn down and off the music in order of different flight attendants speaking the same portuguese but with different accents.

I feel old, it feels odd to actually have something to remember and recall and I watch the women and men pass.

I recall that once I had been seated next to a religious women with beads sticking out, hair frizzy and the lack of touch cringing on her neck and I knew that if the plane would fall I would ask her to pray myself being excluded from religion as I blushed at a few memories and leaned closer to hug the chair with my back and feel nothing soft just nearly plastic chairs and the wrapped bed covers for a long flight and useless movies which were only made for all of us to be the same for the same flight, our only choice being drinks and three different variations of food.

I cannot speak portuguese so therefor I don’t and it’s a small mutual agreement in which people are the culprit and I will be forced, my only answer might be in Europe they speak, so I just don’t smile back and they don’t at the pale skin and the dark hair, the plane is empty and the language clings onto the wall, maybe foreigners expel such experience and I blame my lack of ability and just look around, the shifting and hesitating not even worthy now of mention.

The plane is actually empty I note standing up and falling down to listen to voice morph into an ugly vulgar song which I shall never know and which will fade into an abyss.

And the abyss becomes black like a smile against it as a woman and lady even comes to my mind sits near me, older and fixes her make up, humming something, taking a piece of gum and shielding her eyes from everyone for a bit and she offers me gum, I take it and chew slowly, staring at the lady.

It had been too awful with turbulence and the woman checking everything even walking between rows as she walked around until the turbulence lurched and no one spoke english as usual and she had been drinking some orange medicine and drinking water to slurp it in and as I had tried to ask for tea she helped me with saying Cha and I thanked her, pissed at the entire country and their lack of culture as they had closed the window and she said she had been claustrophobic with a wink to me after that and headed to the bathroom and I wanted to follow her with sex and the imagery filled.

I did nothing and she came back.

The imagery in my head was beautiful and seemed endless like a chewing gum and then she came back, her bra off as I swallowed watching her look at me and smile and I watched at her ring, maybe we were both sexually frustrated, fuck I wanted to fuck her too badly with everyone asleep and I was starting to see her walk naked before me and sit on me and start riding me crazy and I wanted her.

Fuck, I can’t do it and I glanced at the ring on her finger and she laughed, covering her mouth.

High Addiction 2

Sunday, 5 August 2012


My parents would measure how much I’ve grown and I would try to look up, guessing how much I’ve grown and I pressed myself harshly against the wall then and even now I press myself harshly against a wall with a more fancy wallpaper which leans marks on my back and my breathing is heavier as I lean back, still hearing nothing and then I press my ear and I am breathing too heavy to hear whatever they are doing as I’ve seen them walk in and after a while I hear a shower turn on and a television set and after a while the TV is off and the other could’ve joined in a bath and I hear very hard laughter and someone drops someone and I wonder if I can run in and see Jack dead or unconscious and I wrap Alison around my arms, my jacket loosen and she would cry as we would run.

Nothing happens in the end and I exit a while after they do, take the elevator they take as it goes up and I see Jack flick through his mobile, not looking at the man in the fancy hat and blue glasses which would be me.

He raises his eyes looks briefly and walks past.

“Hi, Jamie.” He says.

I stop.

“Yeah, just calling you to say that Alison said...” And then he closes the door behind him and I sigh exhausted and knowing that I had left voice mail on and I go further down and I walk around, trying to see Alison in any way where revealing my cover won’t be anything shameful, she mentioned, while chewing on a straw that she might share a hotel room with Jack and I just covered my mouth, wondering if my mouth could lie.

I walk on, out onto the street, stretching my arms out and I feel an arm around me, briefly, it’s just a touch, but it feels like a hug.

“Where’s the nearest good bar?” Alison smirks, a bit tipsy, asking me and in very slow English, putting on a long fake American accent, like those which they give on television and my lip trembles. I shake my head, trying to show that either I don’t know, don’t care, not local or do not understand english.

It’s too dark I hope.

I want to say something but I don’t, instead I point and she goes there, giggling without Jack and I wander off into the other direction before turning on my heel, trying not to notice if Jack would go after or not.


Sorry for the really long wait but I guess this ended up better than I expected and even some ideas in my head, I mean who doesn't love a Jamie/Alison?:D (Despite the fact that I've been declaring after seeing Jack live that no one is and never will be as gorgeous xD) I've been busy writing There Is Something About Jack White which I've finished and working slowly on my novel, yay :D xD

Basically things should be a bit, a bit faster now hopefully so yeah, keep requesting:) and if it's written it'll pop earlier so yeah:D

thank you:)