Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Ian's Ghost

I don’t really end up believing in ghosts, even when I am drunk.

But I still see him a few times, just as miserable, something in the body already, he doesn’t do anything, you can feel some notes of vinyls coming out and he fades out as soon as the table is taken.

When I come in he is always with a drink, just sitting there, waiting for it to go by itself.

Once I sat where he was, he didn’t fade, I was looking through his eyes, through the eyes of death, maybe I was drunk

All colours faded and were bright

Just we all think

Death is unexplainable and I do nothing.


I was just browsing through final fantasy wiki and bumped into the post of Aeris' ghost and this came up, really. It took me a while to think what I wanted to do with Ian Curtis and Peter Hook (I've actually met Peter Hook and he is really really lovely) and Joy Division are my favourite band like musically I don't think anyone can match them, so it was a bit hard and I focused on my fiction instead for a while among studying, prelim period.

Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it!


Monday, 11 February 2013


“I don’t like socializing with people any more.” He still lights a cigarette and people walk around, a window will be opened once all the noise ceases.

I can’t help but feel aggression rising up. Instead I just pull my blonde hair back. He told me I look like a stick while his wife is a twig.

Music stopped helping me, it just makes everything worse, wounds open up as I sit with my new boyfriend both eating corn, butter being passed among us. Jake keeps eating more corn than I do.

Jamie doesn’t talk to many people but with me he gets a bouquet and forces it inside me down my throat, letting holes to breathe, but stretching it to get more pain so I feel no ease.

I don’t know what to say, I just feel anger and lately I’ve been retraining from any sex, frustrated and even more, last night I even was alone without Jake and I kept crying and slamming my hand against the closet door, harder and harder, louder and louder and then I started screaming, howling, music would do everything worse pour salt over the wounds, cliche would fling like wet bandages.

“I just like hanging out with Kate.” I want to murder him, the reason I’m going bald and gray. I give out a moan, a howl and I crouch, my hair going between my legs, arms and all of a sudden I want it to be short and I want a dress, I want a cocaine addiction, I want to be an early Kate Moss with stars in her eyes.

Jake comes to pick me up.

Monday, 4 February 2013

let's make straight offensive since they're such bigots

School is a place where the gay-straight alliance consists of people calling each other fags and making anal jokes and how lesbians don’t have sex.

Me and Jamie sat there as I sucked on a melon lollypop and soon enough we left. We couldn’t be bothered in saying a complaint, because there is no point.

Jamie still gets called a fag.

I get called a dyke and I listen to a storm of laughs for liking other girls. I feel as if we’re both alienated, both sitting, legs under knees, passing water due to the heat and reading any LGBT fiction we can both find.

We’re considered tolerant, our school is even when teachers laugh at gay jokes and everyone acts as if we are straight when I had made out with my brother’s ex in front of the school or Jamie had some explicit t-shirt of two men. No one bothered asking him to take it off, feeling that they might offend him, we never complain, never press charges. There is no point, so we just continue reading, passing water to each other as other people roll joints and smoke cigarettes among their “fags” because one had thought of another bloke.


Thank you:D hope you enjoyed this little piece:3 feel free to request more of this Alison/f :3


let's make straight offensive since they're such bigots 2

Sunday, 3 February 2013

The Plate

Do I have depression?

Am I wrong?

Am I self obsessed?

I spit out blood in the provided basin, feeling a bit ill and blue, just to head out soon enough and hold a hand for one last time.

Alison asks me something and I just nod.

She moves her hands up, it’s not a prayer but a slap.

I hadn’t cheated.

Neither had she.

It’s a mere slip on the ice when it’s summer and we part.


I hope you enjoyed it and thank you:3 Feel free to request if you wish a further chapter of this Max Bemis story:D

thank you