Saturday, 12 October 2013

Gandalf's Inhaler 2

The wound still remains open and biology is still awkward but I start enjoying it, listening to Turner tell everything and actually prepare us for the exams, give us essays and I end up reading the material again, paranoid of failing again even if I know it hadn’t been my fault if the entire class damn failed.

But it’s hard to convince yourself when the whole damn world is against you, telling you that you’re the faggot and that it’s your damn fault and fucking kill yourself or erase yourself, if you jump of the bridge you’ll finally give space for the traditional family.

Matt sees me combing my beard.

“Why couldn’t you just choose a fucking hobbit?” He asks me as I keep combing my beard. If I score a shag, this will be awkward and Matt’s girlfriend helped me put up the robe and we agreed to go as a trio, even if she’s dressed as a Barbie, I forgot which one. She forced all of us to watch Mean Girls with her, Matt nearly falling asleep and I kept asking myself why do I have to watch this?

Matt took the piss and is wearing a red wig to be Lindsay Lohan. So it’s Lindsay Lohan, Gandalf and a random Barbie. And we walked in all holding hands, as if we were about to go into a crowd and get lost if we wouldn’t act like we are in kindergarden. I am getting better and I have no desire to keep poking the college for an excuse and it’s been months now. Fucking hell.

I get Matt’s flask and I don’t know who is a teacher here, as everyone is in different masks from Leo DiCaprio to Wills and Barack Obama. The music is expectably bad and it’s starting to get on my nerves until I feel a hand on my shoulder.


I turn around.

I get invited to dance by a bloke. Well, I’m nearly sure it’s a bloke and I give him the flask and he stares at it for a while. I guess it’s a kiss through the alcohol.

I look at the peculiar Spider Man outfit and I wonder who the fuck it will be and frankly I don’t think I’m recognizable as Gandalf, I mean, I was figuring who the fuck should I dress up as and I liked Lord of the Rings and well, being gay I figured might join those two together and here I am. Could’ve been Ian McKellan on Gay Pride, that’s also an artistic outfit. All I’d need is a car and Matt’s busy being Lindsay.

“I know who you are.” Gets whispered in my ear.

Grand, fuck you, Matt for telling about my outfit.

I wonder if I’m the only Gandalf though, I mean, he is popular, I mean, I don’t think we’d have another Lindsay. Matt’s choice of Lindsay was literally done by one night, all he needed was a wig and the clothes were leant from Breana.

I really want to reply “oh yeah?” but before I can I get dragged deeper onto the dancefloor and I get pulled into a tight dance.

Fucking hell, who the fuck are you?

And I am sure that person seems to be attracted to me and I ruffle all the males I know who might come dressed up as Spider Man and I can’t think of anyone, but they could’ve mistaken me for any of the Gandalfs, as I see another three dancing in a circle, but I don’t want to tell him and I see dark eyes.

His hands are on my waist and he drags me out of the dancefloor into the changing rooms. I see a key and he unlocks a room. How the fuck?

Does someone want me that badly, but I don’t say anything, wondering if the key was won in a game of poker with the PE teacher or if it was stolen, but before I can say anything I am pulled in and there’s different colours coming from the small window before I can see him pull his mask off, pull my beard down and pull me into a kiss.

My heart stops and my whole body breaks into numerous pieces, I registered the face, but my mind is telling me something else and we kiss, I wonder too much

He pulls away

And we both register who the fuck each other is.

“FUCK!” Turner exclaims and I just stare at my Biology teacher and he just stands there, mask now on the floor and he just stares at me. I’m surely the wrong Gandalf, as always. But then I wasn’t expecting Turner either. I pull my beard back up and I push the door open, before he pulls me back.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry, Ezra told me he’ll be Gandalf and I figured-” He starts exclaiming, scared, voice trembling.

“There are four Gandalfs today, you twat.” I say, we’re on the same level and frankly he is in more trouble than I am. I’m not the one who goes on kissing random Spider Men. He starts biting his nails and he doesn’t look like he’s done it before.

“You had a flask.”

“I do.” And I hand him the gold flask as he starts emptying the contents and I can’t help but start laughing before I pull the flask from him. I take a sip from whatever alcohol Matt happened to sneak in.

“I thought you were saying you’re gay to cheer me up, man.” I can’t help but find this awfully ridiculous and well, I did get a kiss and frankly Turner is attractive. It’s just to damn funny and I feel like I started laughing for the first time in months, recalling how I had managed to lose my luggage on the train station, how Matt had bought the wrong condoms and asked me if he could return him while being passed out drunk, Breana accidentally dying her eyebrows blue and saying that her life is ruined, the whole commotion about finding a tampon in some teacher’s bag

I can’t stop laughing

My teacher mistook me for someone else

I really couldn’t stop laughing until I see Turner look at me

The lighting went dimmer

I feel like we both stopped breathing and he kisses me again.

I pull him closer, ruffling his hair as he discards my plagiarized beard and I realize how thin his costume outfit is, as if he had sneaked it from a sex shop

I think he’s drunk

Maybe he thinks I’m drunk

What I really think is that neither of us are drunk.

Who the fuck is Ezra?

My hands are itching to wonder on his body and I’m sure that so are his, but we don’t, as if we are still in our costumes and panic seems to reach my body but not my lips and my hands which pull him closer and he goes on top of me, both of us making out on the narrow benches.

What the fuck am I doing?

We stop breathless and I don’t know what to say and I’m sure neither does he.

We empty the rest of the flask.

Both me and Turner just sit there.

“You do realize you can’t tell anyone, right?” Turner says, ruffling his hair and I want to kiss his cheek. I just nod.

I’m telling Matt anyway. I won’t hold and pretty much telling Matt is like writing a letter and then burning it.

I just turn to look at him.

I wonder how old he is and frankly I just knew him as Mr. Turner, who had asked me if I was ok and told me what to reread and helped me with genetics. He was just as the other teachers, just that I had told him about what had happened-

No, enough, no more thinking, they reply, grand, they don’t, I’ll complain when I’ll have my piece of mind and settlement.

I wonder if Turner only remembers me as that as well, the gay guy.

My biology teacher laughs to himself for a while, maybe realizing that you should talk to the Gandalf before you make out with them?

“I’m Alex.” He says, maybe he’ll just be friendly today. “I know that you’re Miles.”

“Ah.” We both laugh and I feel anxious just by recalling but I look at Alex and grin. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

And Alex stands up.

“You gonna look for Ezra then?” I ask him.

He turns around.

My heart stops.

Would this be the tingling feeling at the first sight, when I see him in a red Spider Man costume in the dim light with someone smoking weed outside?

I kind of want to say that he’s found his Ezra, but instead he puts on the mask again and pulls the beard back on me as I sit there, frozen, wanting him to kiss me again.

“C’mon.” He says and he opens the door to the world.


Ok, after I got told that they are hitting refresh until this gets posted, here it is :3

Technically the story starts from here and yeah. I was pretty down when I wrote this and looking back at this chapter, I was like, hey, Miles got back into education and etc, so yeah, so can I go back to work and functioning normally.

And one of my favourite scenes from this chapter (sorry going through the moodiness first XD) is when Miles starts laughing and recalls everything, I guess being depressed moments when you laugh your heart out really count and are a turning point. Obviously, you still feel depressed sometimes, but it gets better and yeah, I look at my own story XD I know, I suck and I get inspired, so yeah. I'm my own fangirl xD

The whole story was basically, me thinking, ok, Alex is a teacher how the fuck do I pull this off? And the idea about kissing somewhere obviously where the teacher-student is blurred was the idea. Initially I had Miles sneak into a gay bar, but then Alex would notice him, so that wouldn't fly.

Then I thought ok, something masked in a gay bar. Then I realized why the fuck would I even have to have them outside the school and with Halloween approaching. Oh, yeah, Halloween chapter haha xD

I think I spend a good while, if not randomly musing a day on their costumes. I don't remember how exactly I came up with Gandalf, I think I had thought of a Hobbit, but I needed a mask so that Miles wouldn't be that recognizable. As for Alex, I was thinking Batman but that would've been too straight forward and frankly I'm more of a Spider Man person thanks to my partner and fuck not the new new one. I miss Toby McGuire being a full dork there and hell, Kirsten Dunst is much hotter T__T

I guess one thing which still puzzles me is people's obsession with Mean Girls or rather the obsession. Sure, it's a really funny teen movie, but quoting? Like I had people quoting Mean Girls in Creative Writing lessons. So yeah. So I just chucked in that too, but don't get me wrong, it's a good movie, just um... stop quoting please.

Also a bit of a struggle was who would Alex want. I don't think I've ever cared about height and age so much as I did, researching. I'm not really into Vampire Weekend, but yeah, I decided to use Ezra in the end.

What was going to happen was a kiss and then they both freak the fuck out, but well, things don't go as planned and I guess in that moment, most of us would lean in again.

I struggled with the last line as it sounded too cheesy for me, but I liked it.

And wow, I've written a lot and this should be posted XD

I hope you enjoyed it and trust me the next chapter has more... Milex, there, I'll put it that way XD

The night isn't over!

Feel free to request and I'll post the next chapter:3


Gandalf's Inhaler 3