Life is short. We don't realize it because we're constantly fighting and that's how we get distracted by the lightning fast pace of it.
I realize that when I meet Lana again, while me and Jamie decided to eat out, after fishing out all the stupid documents I had ended up scattering all over the house. I never cared much about my birth certificate and once we found it, I stared at it for a long while, as if it was somehow a reminder of my mother. Was that the last gift? My name? It made me think for a while, as Jamie watched me.
Maybe we should all ask for forgiveness? Maybe there's a point in saying sorry.
She's in a red dress, as I catch her hand before the bathroom. Sister or not, we were together for a while. Lana stares at my own hand, slowly removing it, confused at the sudden touch. Jamie headed out for a smoke. We're leaving the place.
I wanted the house.
“Have the house.” I say. She tilts her head and even narrows her eyes at me, expecting some backstabbing since I happen to be more than excellent at that. She looks around, probably wondering where's Jamie and if he's wired with something to take to court. Lawyers are lawyers after all.
“What?” She asks baffled. I can see that we've both gotten older and I always forget to take care of myself, while Lana on the opposite with her status as a trophy wife does everything to look great.
“I don't want it.” I say. Maybe she's wired and she steps closer to me, as if to make sure that I'm saying the things she is hearing.
“But you live there.”
“Ah.” Of course. From who she could've heard? No one. I'm sure Jack as displeased as he was, didn't call my sister to tell her that his boyfriend left him to try with his ex-spouse again. “Jamie's got a place.”
“It's an apartment in the city. Where are you going to paint?” How does she even know? But then maybe word spread, it's not like we have a different circle of friends.
“I don't need that much space to paint.”
“You always claimed that you did.”
“I was an asshole.” I shrug, recalling how I would make a commotion for mom and Lana to leave the garage alone because my huge room wasn't enough for me at all, because I was just being greedy. Lana just smirks slightly, crossing her arms and I look down at her huge heels. She feels so stereotypical, but she always wanted this. All she's missing is the children which will come along the way in the next few years.
“For being an asshole?” She reaches into her purse and pulls out a box of cigarettes, also to indicate that she is done with this conversation and would join anyone else outside, which isn't Jamie, since she still has all reasons to hate him. You'll always hate the person who you were left for.
“Yeah.” I pause. “I mean, not that.”
“Go on.” I catch Lana's attention. A woman walks past us, still fixing her hair after the mirror. Lana sighs and looks at her manicured nails. I never liked having long claws, but as years went on hers got longer and longer and I would tell her how impractical they were, but she wouldn't listen.
“I'm sorry for... Jamie. I'm sorry for leaving you.” I leave it vague, because people are listening, women are listening as they fix their make-up. Lana looks away, biting her lips, rubbing her arm with her hand.
“It took you more than seventeen years to say that.” She says and I can see that she's holding from making her voice break. Lana looks back at me and I see her eyes shimmer. I've left her alone. We didn't really have many friends. We were always there for each other. I always imagined our forgiveness differently, I'd think we would get back together, I'd even think that we would hook up for time's sake. But -
Maybe there's some love which doesn't last. We've been so distant. And I've discarded her.
Now I cross my arms before I wrap my arms around her, as she begins to cry. We've grown. We've grown apart. Maybe it's best that we're on track. I move her from side to side, as if we're small again. Lana gives out a small laugh and eventually pulls away from me.
She wasn't even angry at mom for long.
She leans in, but then leans back, smiling.
It's all gone.
I smile back.
That's pretty much it. I'll try to give justice to the few stories that I actually finished. I enjoyed the whole love triangle between Lana/Alison/Jamie I had created quite a while back. Maybe I'll use it in some sort of way in fiction, who knows. I love revisiting old stories and looking them through.
I know this last chapter is very long overdue, but I hope it is still loved.
I thought it would be longer, I knew that it would go differently, that Jamie/Alison would be endgame and whatnot.
I'll really miss writing fanfiction full time and I do. But I've been working a lot on new stuff, even if I'm on a brief hiatus currently, because when am I not?
RV made me think a lot and it'll forever have a small place in my heart.
Thank you for all the support over the years,
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