“I wonder what happens to all those wishes which don’t come true. Because there’s so many child dreams which were so easy to fulfill and never came true.” I say on the phone, watching around for cars, as I step out on the street from the building. I take out a box of cigarettes, the lighter tucked inside and I just hold the phone tighter against me with my shoulder, clutching onto the cig with my teeth. A wind blows making it colder than the usual autumn which just starts to kiss the weather with it’s frost. I had the stupidity of believing that a leather jacket would be plenty. In the split second all I hear is silence, waiting for me to go on. “No, really. I mean, fine, maybe ponies would be much harder to fulfill, but what about all the other dreams?”
I try not to focus on anything else, letting my mind stop spiraling further into questioning why some things end up coming true and only a pause is now heard because I should be the one answering my own questions. I feel my phone vibrate even more now, causing me to nearly jerk my shoulder.
“Hold on, Jamie, I got a call-”
“I see your point-” He starts, but instead I mutter a fast excuse, that I really have no idea whose call is it and why do they want. It’s a bit of a childish excitement coz no one really calls me these days besides Jamie who I seem to be playing strip poker with and no one is losing, so the situation is just awkward where no one is dating anyone, yet we’re stuck in the same situation where we both should be dating. I’d even moved in with the guy, after coming from all the way and nothing had happened, besides a few awkward hugs which were there and here. It felt as if we had been closer through the letters and now it was simply stuck with nothing. Before I could trace his words with fingers and now I couldn’t.
I knew that he’d been going over his ex in his head and when I came he was just cleaning up all the pictures of them together and I had seen him rip them all apart so much. I didn’t push and neither did Jamie. After all, they had been engaged, so that had been getting into his head far too much. I moved in suggesting far too much, that I’d be there but he had been distant. Maybe I did envision too much of a relationship in my head. His ex was gorgeous and smart, something nothing close to me with my recently grown out hair which I had been dying pure black for a few months now. She was a model which I wasn’t made for. I took the cigarette out of my mouth, making a quick exhale and picked up the unknown number.
“He left me high and dry. I was standing outside, it was supposed to rain any minute and he didn’t even bother to show up. It was as if it wasn’t a second date. He was the one who said all, ohh, yeah, I’d love to have a second date. I mean, what is the point of even doing a second date if you don’t even want to show up?” And she holds a small pause and I hear her take something and drink from it. I look around as if that might hold an explanation why an unknown woman with a french accent is calling me. Instead I just see some school girls cross the road, giggling probably with the same gossip I am hearing. Instead the woman doesn’t shut up at all and keeps talking. “It’s not like I’m not trying. It’s the third guy I’m seeing and I can’t seem to get pass a second date. It’s as if I’m a new no second date kind of girl.”
I hear her sigh and keep drinking. I don’t even dare to speak and that’s when she just does a weird noise, as if motioning for me to speak and I have no idea how she even looks like. I scratch the back of my head, entirely forgetting my cigarette. I hear a sigh and the woman continues even further.
“I mean, I was engaged and it didn’t happen. Not to mention the guy who I cheated with got cold feet right after I broke up with you know who. Ugh, it even sucks to say his name. I really shouldn’t have done it, but I was just getting bored of the whole... routine. You know how obsessed he was with the routine. He would just keep doing the same things all over and over again. He’d go through everything. I swear a bit more and he’d wear the same underwear on a certain day. He’s been obsessed with those suede shoes that I can’t even see them.” She pauses, exclaiming. “I even saw him the other day and he was still wearing them! Uh huh.”
The caller starts to feel a bit uncomfortable by my silence. I hear a flicker of a lighter now.
“You’re awfully quiet. I wonder what’s with you today or maybe it’s just me talking so much.” She says inhaling heavily.
“I-I’m sorry-” I quickly start speaking up.
“Mmm, don’t worry.” I imagine the faceless woman moving her arms around as she says this, blowing more smoke into the room, legs crossed or maybe not on a sofa. “I’d rather just talk, if you let me. I’m not feeling too good.”
I just nod, as if she can see me.
“Or maybe not. I’m not even drunk, I’m just sipping on tea because he likes tea. My ex.” Then she gives a good pause and I hear a light sob. “I really feel unloved. I really do feel unloved. When are you planning on visiting me, huh?”
I hear a small laugh.
“Come on, we haven’t seen each other in a good, good while.” And that’s to what I realize that I’ve been standing on the sidewalk the whole time, listening to the woman, going through all the lights and through all the school kids leaving school.
“I-I’m sorry-”
“Why do you keep saying you’re sorry?” And I just hope she doesn’t speak up again.
“I think you got the wrong number.” I mutter and actually start crossing. That’s when I hear her sit up from her sofa or whatever she was sitting on.
“Wait... Who are you, then?” She asks.
“I’m Alison.” I say even quieter, feeling embarrassed that I even managed to stay this long in the conversation.
“Oh. Well, you heard it all.” She laughed and I actually questioned her lack of alcohol even if she sounded perfectly sober. “I wouldn’t mind a new fresh opinion.”
“I’m having boy trouble myself, so I don’t think I’m the best to be talking about this to be very honest.” I confess, feeling odd that I just made friends with a complete stranger over the phone.
“Ooooh. Tell me, should be far more exciting than my own.”
-
I always try to go deep with the first phrase to be honest and I just started new medication and how the doctor described... I felt strange and I had a very surfaced mild depression episode, where I actually asked Callie why don't some wishes which you want so much don't come true? And further as the story goes on Alison asks that since she and Jamie aren't getting on yet.
Callie also called this the only rom-com of graspthesanity, so I'm quite looking forward to that because it's actually light and I've watched and loved plenty rom-coms in my day. I hope this will be loved as well.
The plot came to me in a dream actually, all of it and I was like this fusing of me and Alison in this story. I love it when dreams give me plots, it's quite an old and trustworthy thing of mine, so yeah. So all of this was written in notes.
I didn't write yesterday coz I had a doctor's appointment, I started new meds and everything. So I'm really sorry, but hey I wrote 1.2k in a day 8) so I'm awesome for that.
Also, in case you missed it, I started a youtube channel and I post videos there, so please check it out
It was quite hard to write it at times, specifically the huge monologue (I try not to spoil the obvious xD)
At this point I have no title. It was taken from the fact that okay, this is a rom-com and I was musing on a title with Callie, as she offered Pendulum and I figured that I could go with In Between Days as in The Cure song and it matches the story. I'm also thrilled to be back and writing my usual Alison/Jamie.
I really hope you enjoyed it and thank you:)
If you did, please comment below or on tumblr
<3
Jamie
No comments:
Post a Comment