Tuesday, 8 December 2015

the animal five

I try not to spend that much money these days for the sole reason that I need to last, even if I hadn’t held and after Julien had found me we went to the alcohol store and we just started buying so much booze, saying out loud what we could mix with what and that ended up being a very big cheque along with my ID getting checked and I had to thank that I had taken time off before storming off from university, so that I was over twenty to buy everything that my heart desired and Julien himself was happy at that small coincidence we had forgotten on our way there. So we had taken the long ride with all the bottles clinking and I couldn’t get myself to ask anything about Julien and he just stared as I was writing in the notebook, but figured that it was some odd adolescent poetry perhaps. He was nice to look at when he closed his eyes and his legs were against the opposite chairs and I wondered how long he would sleep, as I just continued staring at him while scribbling. He was all dressed in black today and I couldn’t understand what the branding was, but he seemed to come from somewhere with money as he had the latest iPhone and I couldn’t help but wonder why did he leave?

Neither of us spoke much about the past besides Dick sometimes, but he would mostly just moan that it was a nightmare once he came out to his parents which were mostly unforgiving. Maybe because we had all known that something had brought us here and if one would ask, the others would follow and there had been just a sole mutual silence. We didn’t even know what to talk about sometimes, like Peter had decided to bring us all together and said that it mandatory that we all would come out from our little rooms into the kitchen (Peter had lived in the living room, so that had been taken). We were all dragged out to play Monopoly and because we all didn’t talk much to each other, we just remained silent and kept such until our turn was made. 

Julien asked if we would be betting to which Peter replied that he has no interest in losing money to us under any circumstances. Peter just like any landlord was a greedy cunt, whenever he’d offer to drive you somewhere you’d end up with a 200kr bill, at least by the end of it and he’d remind me that nothing in this life is free. That happened to me once and I was more than thankful that I had my wallet on me because I had just wanted to try and feed the ducks nearby and because it was snowing Peter had offered me the ride, which I had presumed was free. 

The silence had been so pregnant that it was Dick who had decided to break it, with bed hair and presumed that his day had gone well since he had been sleeping and I had been the one to wake up the poor trans man as Peter had asked me to wake him up. I wondered if he had slept so long every day and what was the source of his income, I knew that he would do videos and sometimes with his boyfriend, but I was positive that he wasn’t that big to get his wallet filled. 

When I woke him up or rather when he opened the door I saw the Ouija board in the corner, which I knew he wouldn’t mind if I would address it in front of the rest, he was a bit sleepily surprised when I asked about it, but just shrugged, saying that he didn’t mind talking to someone every once in a while and he had a medium friend who gave it to him because the other would get possessed by demons in his household, so it was Dick’s now. 

After the game of Monopoly (because Dick talking about ghosts is far more amusing than 6 grown men just rolling dice and Peter getting so agitated about the game which had lasted up to 2 am in the morning) Dick had called me in, asking if I was curious about his Ouija board still, but instead I had said that I actually wanted to stay away from such things and wasn’t Dick concerned that it would haunt the house? Dick said that the house wasn’t haunted, but there was some entity which he would flirt with. He joked that it was some genderless ghost because they would get angry when asked about the gender and Dick had proceeded to flirt with them whenever he would get bored, a bit too amused and knowledgeable on what to do if things got out of hand by his friend. I wondered who this friend was, but Dick said that they lived in a different city now, also jumping around from city to city in searches of apartments and places to live. It wasn’t just the capital which was a pain to find a location where to live. 

Dick’s boyfriend had showed up again in the night, bringing the ridiculous amount of eggs for his lover, as the eggs would eventually show up on Frank’s porch since he was the egg eater and now that he had lost his job, he was thankful to Dick for the small chip in. He would cook them at the precise 4 o’clock in the morning, resembling the cock he was. 

I took a small bath, far too tired and Dick had been knocking on the door, so I didn’t bother and I was covered in bubbles anyway, he had decided to come in and lean sitting against the wall, musing out loud if he should dye his dark hair blonde for a change and I just shrugged, dunking myself in further into the water, feeling far too tired and feeling every single muscle ache in my body, as I was used to showering but today I didn’t care of the hygiene, all I wanted to was to somehow relax and listen to Dick’s now ghost stories, as I would still hear his loud voice from underwater and soon enough, when the bubbles had gotten thinner even Julien joined in and he sat on the lid of the toilet instead, giving Dick the courtesy of the floor which he was now laying diagonally spread out on. I watched the two men and I had barely known their ages, besides Dick who had declared to be 24 just now. Julien claimed to be younger than that, scratching his eye and I was just a bit over 20. 

In the night all of Nathan’s three cats had decided to raid Julien’s room or at least attempt to and the whole night I had to stand sleeping through the noises of cats scratching here and there, meowing or crying. What is the sound of a cat crying anyway? Was that crying? I never had a cat so I couldn’t differ if they were hungry for Julien’s flesh or if there were actually trying to pray to his ghost since perhaps he was death and no reactions were coming out of his room at the three felines viciously scratching at the damned door. 

Then at four Frank had cooking with his old habits dying hard since now he had nowhere to go and nowhere to work. I could hear the cats shift now to the kitchen, they didn’t sound interested at all in his eggs, but it seemed that now they decided to stay and keep company to the second person who worked out in our home, after Dick of course, I wondered if Nathan’s cats and Frank would ever actually become friends or if they were just solely plotting against poor Julien which had an allergy to everything in the household apparently. 

That morning Nathan had gone and the parcels were left alone for his cats to chew on and I was the one who took the mail, not caring far too much and surprised at the letter addressed to Max. I had no one who would even write or even care for me, at this point university had started and my mother had stopped calling, probably understanding where I had hidden or maybe she just had a bad gut feeling that I was dead and she would be doing my funeral and who doesn’t love flowers on their humble grave? So I had decided to take and actually open the letter which had Max on it and I opened it to reveal vintage porn magazines with an eBay receipt or invoice. I looked at the address again, it was ours but it was for a Maximus Erectus which was surely not my name and I just left the poor envelope open at the kitchen, closing it briefly with duct tape and not bothering to close it other than enough for someone not to see what was in it. I stayed in the kitchen, hoping for the Maximus Erectus of our apartment to show up, but I had gotten hungry for some nachos so I headed out to the Coop nearby instead, pretty much giving up and seeing all of the advent calendars and Santas even if we had just dipped into the beginning of November, that had apparently been enough for the poor Maximus Erectus to get out of his cave and retrieve his treasure of vintage porn and for me to never find out who was it. 

Then there was a scandal that apparently that morning Nathan’s cats had been fed licorice by Frank and that caused a whole frenzy and another fistfight which led a ceramic Eiffel tower statue to collapse and both had to pay double the amount to Peter, who was yelling until it was time for Frank’s breakfast. Licorice had to be healthier for the cats rather than Dick’s addiction to Lindt, which I had seen him hogging in Coop that day. 

Then as I had come back, not only the letter was gone but a second statue was broken by the same Nathan but Julien this time and they were forced to pick up the shards with their fingers, allowing some blood to come again at the carpet, friendly reminder that you can’t complain on your landlord because you’ve got nowhere to go, that’s why we all keep silent on whatever Peter causes us to do and thank the Lord that we’re not paying high fees on a boat hotel which has no kitchen. That’s all I’ve got to say about the apartment situation which the notebook has lived and breathed and been sewn into. The fucking Eiffel tower wasn’t forgotten as Julien was asked to find a similar one on eBay and we all had to pay it out of our pockets, solely because he hates us with no rent discount. It wasn’t too expensive but even five was a bit too much for that shitty tower and we all had to give Julien the fiver and he then bought it on his card. 


This chapter is longer because the next chapter is actually the only part of the story which was divided from the rest. I hope you enjoyed it!

Landlords are always friendly at first with games, then all hell lets loose :) (I hope the smilie conveys my dead eyes xD) 

The idea of giving Dick an ouija board and the friend he mentions was actually a small nod to 500 another story, a fanfiction of mine which was set in a specific region of Sweden where me and Callie lived in for a bit which was very very and I mean very haunted, which gives the background to the story and is based on some real events which we've seen there. 

Also stuff like paying landlords money for rides was things I had encountered but I'm not writing those out of spite, there's plenty I write out of spite about xD

I don't have much backstory because all is told and all was brainstormed really xD

I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, please tell me so in a comment below or social media:)



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