I was ridiculously horny that day, which would explain all my following actions and the fact that I was sucking on some lollypop from a pick and mix I had bought earlier, wondering if a simple jerking off would do, but my mind was wandering too much, a bit of a disastrous twist when you start wondering if the porn you’re watching is adventurous enough and then I had decided to download Grindr, musing out nearly out loud with the tune of the Kardashians which I was more than positive that Peter was watching in his breaks of watching it and playing Black Ops on his Xbox. The idea was awfully shallow and I had taken the consequences that I would be pretty much regretting a plain hookup even if there were plenty of men in my area and I had much more than a gut feeling that I would run into them at Coop while choosing ice cream or picking bananas, but when you’re horny, you’re not thinking.
Neither was I thinking when I was biting the lollypop and saw a familiar small neck tattoo on it a few meters away from me, getting closer and that’s how I found out that Dick was cheating on his own dick of a boyfriend. I didn’t know if they had some sort of agreement (I always picture Richie from Looking asking that to Patrick, dunno why, I probably want to bang the fucker far too much). I kept biting until I reached the stick and I was with a big boner as well and also with the idea that I could score a quick shag and I had known that he wasn’t interested in me, so just spicing up a bad friendship didn’t seem like a bad idea. If I had known that Lazarus was gay, I would’ve done him as well at this point. So I pick up the phone, take a sort of flattering photo of me biting the stick of the lollypop, hesitate before sending it to Dick, it’s one of those moments in life where I just show the notebook to Lazarus later and he tells me that I’m fucked up and asks how was it as I sit on his floor and he sits in front of his PlayStation, racing some older Sonic game in a matching t-shirt, as if to symbolize or emphasize his love for Sonic, which is already pretty big.
So I had the last moment of regret and anxiety and I still messaged Dick and most of it was because I was horny, I wanted sex, that was it.
He didn’t get back to me right away, which caused me to consider that maybe my hand was the best and most trustworthy partner of all since I couldn’t even get laid by a roommate who didn’t care about me.
Dick first went into his room with all the junk groceries, to make all the crisp shrines and stick all the cookies in the right places and that’s when I heard a knock on my door with Dick looking at me a bit confused, but he seemed to have shrugged it off by the time he headed towards mine. He motioned to his room. He locked the door as I sat on his bed. Dick told me he’d be in his binder and he was okay with me touching him down there and that he’d do it through the back door, because he wasn’t feeling like a top today and if that was okay with him. It felt a bit odd how Grindr hookups would work, but it was laid out I guess and with everything entirely on the table with all the fetishes.
Dick took a sip of water from a cup, feeling a bit uneasy and I wondered if it was me or if it was him, but I had really no idea what to do with the fellow trans man with his undercut. He sat next to me and I think that’s when our nerves got the best of us, that’s one split second when you think if you’ve actually got some tension between you, before you unwrap that disaster of a first kiss, he got the strands of my hair out of the way, tugging on my small ponytail and letting it loose. We stared at each other for a while, as I stared into his hazel eyes and I figured that it’s a part of the experience to have some tension and let you believe in some love before you actually get to the deed. Then he leaned in and I won’t ever say that it was bleak, but it had started filling up with some ridiculousness of the choice of the situation and how we were all about to dissolve in a very sexual manner.
The older man had pushed me down, straddling me, opening a drawer near the bed and taking out the condom. I wondered how many men had sneaked into this apartment for him to cheat on his boyfriend or maybe they had been over for a while and I had no idea? I wondered why did I care as he leaned back down to kiss me again, with tongue and all.
Lazarus came into my mind again and how he would react.
I pushed the odd neighbour away, but I felt as if everyone who I had known were now staring at me and wondering, why the fuck was I about to fuck Dick?
I flipped him over, running a hand down his body, knowing that the binder will still be on. I apologized for not knowing how to touch if anything, but it seemed a bit straightforward as he had shown me how, it felt different but it certainly didn’t feel any less gay. I didn’t know how could anyone even claim that. It made me furious and still does. But now Dick was in my head and his hand in my pants, stroking. He put on a condom on me and went down on me. Dick was about my height, so I just motioned with a hand that we could try and 69 to which he shrugged and did it. I felt clumsy, following directions, but in the end I got a hang of it but I was clearly getting more bothered than Dick was by all the directions, as I had felt a bit horrid that I was completely lost in the beginning. Dick on the other hand had a pure knowledge of what he was doing, I had to hold myself down from coming in his mouth, so he had stopped. He looked at me through half closed eyes and sweating, holding his moans with biting his mouth and his hair was all tussled despite all the hair products I had known he had used every single damn day. I pinned him down again, moaning against his mouth as I stroked him again, now letting my fingers go inside him as he had asked. Now he was touching himself as I had now been about to enter him.
I kissed him again before positioning myself properly and I watched him touch himself for a while, kissing him right above the hemline of his black binder and travelling up to his lips. I went inside Dick, as he moaned outright and loud that I wondered if anyone would actually hear it or if there was a chance that his boyfriend would come in and it dawned on me that I as the one time lover was as much to blame as poor Dick was. I looked down at him, as I was thrusting, heavily turned on by him and he kept pulling me down with his teeth on my lip to kiss. I slowed down just to torture him, as we both just felt even far more frustrated. I kept going slower and slower until I heard Dick moan and then cover his mouth as he came, squirting, digging his other hand into my hip heavily that it ached and I came, watching him and closing my eyes.
We unrolled of each other after a while, breathing now stabilized. I helped Dick remove the covers and offered to give him my today’s laundry slot, thanking him again with an odd kiss which felt like Cinderella’s carriage turned pumpkin. We both sat there in the laundry room, watching the sheets spin, as if reminding us that the sex was now done and neither of us felt horny again. I glanced back at him, sighing, as he didn’t look back at me. Dick thanked me for the sex. I nodded, feeling a bit odd and that’s when I had decided to go to Lazarus and show him all of my notes, including the sex scene which I had explicitly written down. Lazarus emphasized that he was straight, but that I should if I could maybe become an erotica writer since I had decided to capture everything.
Lazarus greeted me with the sounds of a new My Little Pony episode in the background, as we were watching it with some idiot’s commentary and I sat down there to watch all of the ponies’ shenanigans, as he flicked through the small gray notebook reading it. I felt a bit odd about Dick right now, but I knew that just like Cinderella’s carriage I didn’t want the night back and I was okay with just dancing with the Prince once.
I am desperately missing the animal.
I know, I've been terribly behind on posting things. I ended up with a a root canal which is still not fixed, but I've went through phase one, so I feel much better now. I was pretty much a ball of pain for several days so I didn't manage to post anything. I've been terribly tired and everything, so I've been off schedule but now I'm back.
I'm terribly sorry and if you enjoy the story please tell me so, so it doesn't feel like no one is reading it.
I've been terribly missing the animal and me and Callie keep discussing it a lot. Also since the apartment situation is such a reality I miss ranting about it.
This chapter is the only thing which was divided as it was written. Dick was originally not going to be big of a character as I was planning the story, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to include a trans man at all to avoid my dysphoria. I didn't want a sex scene because I thought that it would trigger me, but as I kept writing Dick I fell in love with the character and wanted to fuck some shit up xD Dick is also some idealistic form of myself, somewhat close to how I'd like to look when I imagine him. He's amazing, I dunno I just love him loads.
Also, I know that Julien isn't a lot in this chapter, but Julien's appearence was inspired when I had seen a photo taken by Hedi Slimane of Louis Garrel (yes, from The Dreamers) but it didn't register in my head and you couldn't see his face properly so I pictured Julien differently, but based off dear Louis. I'll keep silent about more about Julien for now. Also the name came to me with that said photo.
I believe I was horny when I wrote this.
I also tend to stick everyone into Coop, for some reason. This is beyond me. Usually you shop around and the supermarkets tend to stick together very often, so you can pop in one and then to the other.
It was written fast and yeah. I hope you enjoyed it :3
Please please tell me if you did so