Thursday, 16 May 2013


I love you so much that sometimes I don’t know how to express it.

We don’t stop kissing and I can’t help but put my hand lower and I start stroking Jamie as he starts rubbing my clit, sometimes I think we are insane.

We both come and Jamie keeps biting my neck as he comes and I keep gasping, pressing his hand harder with my own.

“We can get a morning after pill. True, twenty five quid, but fuck, we need to buy condoms anyway.” And Jamie laughs and I just sit besides him, stroking his chest with my fingers as he nuzzles my hair. Nothing comes to mind, just sitting on his lap and then I have an urge to draw and I ask Jamie if he has pencils and paper.

Jamie nods, standing up and I check him out from behind, my legs and my whole body numb, I know I’m not a virgin anymore and sex becomes a deal and masturbation feels weak all of a sudden, I don’t think I’ll be sneaking in magazines into the shower and then throwing out soggy pages of actors.

Jamie comes back with newly, barely touched pencils besides one red one and with an eye make up sharpener.

“Why do you have an eye makeup sharpener?” I smirk and Jamie starts ruffling his drawers until he takes out a kohl pencil, closing his eyes and underlining them and grinning as he shows it to me and kisses my forehead. He starts kissing my face all over, before underlining my own and drawing a small anchor on the side of my face.

“I used to wear a lot of it, so I learned doing it without a mirror, while being on drugs.” Jamie smirked. I haven’t done a lot of drugs yet, I’ve just done weed once and I ended up coughing a lot as it ended being cheap and weird on a skater party.

In the end we end up exiting to the streets, seeing a bunch of people smoking, some people with dogs and the day shining brightly, not showing a change of season. I take Jamie’s hand and I wonder if I look like his daughter or his younger sister. But I don’t and we kiss. I wonder if he used nail varnish as well and how androgynous did he look.

In boots we start searching for the pill, finding indigestion next to condoms and birth tests which cost too much. We take out all the coins we have in our wallets, trying not to spend the teners, keeping it for cider, an idea Jamie had the day before.

“Why was the red pencil only used?” I ask Jamie, just looking at the cock rings and wondering if I can turn them on through the packing.

“Because I draw lines whenever I am anxious and you’re leaving soon. I got sad after you left.” And he takes the box and puts it in my hands and I see my dad with my mom looking at indigestion. And our eyes meet and I have the morning after pill in my hands.

Everything seemed to slow down, I could mum’s lips moving and Jamie’s hand grabbing my shoulder, his eyes bleak as if he would faint and leave eyeliner on the floor and I was wearing the hoodie with the hole which Jamie even mocked me for taking, but loving it secretly, just like I had left a few leather bracelets at his table, seeing him wearing them and toying as I slept after sex.

“Alison.” And mom pronounces the word.

“Yes?” That’s all I can say. It’s obvious that we had sex. “This is Jamie.”

I don’t say friend, as much as it could offend me it would offend him. I’m holding onto the box, my fingers sweating and I don’t know what to say, people keep getting more condoms and more pills against diarrhea and vomiting.

Then Jamie takes one pack of flavoured condoms and plain ones, maybe hinting now that we’ll be safe.

Then dad grabs all the condoms and pill from Jamie’s hands.

“It’s fine. We’ll pay.” I’m surprised he doesn’t say for the unprotected sex.

“Sorry, we had sex.” And Jamie knows how stupid it sounds and dad goes to the cashier and I see Jamie shaking, he starts poking his brow piercing and my mother drags me aside. "The flavoured are for STD prevention during oral. Not that I have herpes, but... fuck."

“He has so many piercings.” And that’s all she says, looking at Jamie, who starts biting his nail, even until blood starts forming and ready to spur up.

Me and Jamie leave them, there’s not much time left anyway and my parents don’t believe in love, it’s when I don’t understand why do people marry when they don’t want each other and spend reading different newspapers and separate televisions and each chooses a shower over a bath.


I just had my first exam so I wasn't really aware if it was funny or not, I kept thinking that everything is bad and tragic XD I really need sleep XD which is what I am going to do.

My local boots does indeed have condoms next to indigestion XD I have no idea why and I found it funny and I was hesitating whether to write the pencil scene in Fiji or not, but yeah :D Lucky you I wrote Fiji XD Just kidding, I write nearly everyday (it's exam season, I'm not alive everyday XD) and it might not be the next thing on the list but something else on the list, so yeah xD

I just added the herpes bit as I was asking Callie if the condom flavoured reference was understood, in the end here it is, as clear as day XD

I hope you enjoyed it and my humor is understood despite me being called a zombie by everyone today xD

Thank you :D Please request :)


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