I Can't Wait6

Sex was too stiff and I’m still lying on the bed naked and Alison grabs a tanktop, a leather jacket and ripped jeans, putting on her boots, not saying anything, the cigarette noises and the lighter say everything. She sits on the edge of the bed, eying me between the legs, I’m not turned on any more and I’m quite moist about everywhere, even if it was crap.

She lets me inhale from her cigarette and I close my eyes as her fingers go through my hair. I let Alison kiss me and I kiss her back just as passionately, my tongue blending with hers and I pull her on top of me.

“I’m going on a date with Mr. Hince.” Both of our eyes are closed and she leaves the room, to which I just bring the covers around my entire body, feeling too weak to compete so I just end up crying, not just because of the crap sex and Alison taking the last cigarettes. I find my boxers and my lip is still trembling, I start dressing up and I feel like taking any job, my younger sister bringing teddy bears from build-a-bear lately makes me wonder if I could get her a discount.

But then I bend in half again.

I end up sitting in my room, sleeping in that position, still in my boxers, parents gone for the day, thank God for study break and I wake up in a pool of my own tears and our fluids.

I never found what had happened between them and I had never even known the story to fully digest it.

I don’t know what to do and I am in the crossroads of my own understanding, where I have to understand if I am left alone like I was with that girl years ago which cheated on me while I had been ill and I couldn’t understand if we had been broken up and the plain reality soaks in all the old memories, all the sex, all the love making, all the swings we’ve used, all the vinyls, all the hats I’ve bought for Alison, that first time I had stayed over, wearing red boxers for luck and the first time I had sex with her.

She wasn’t a virgin, so it was just going in, knowing how to, positioning, my legs shaking and making love. I loved Alison and I’m sure she loved me too, but how much had she loved me and how much had she loved Mr. Hince?

Now it were her crossroads, weighting years against years, memories against memories, while my seesaw had her and no one to balance it besides myself, but I’m too short to reach and Alison is looking behind on a man with messier hair, who is more attractive, looks like like a baby face, maybe she wants a family?

I can obviously hand her over my sperm, but I’m still young.

I rub my eyes thinking about families and Alison, it’s like that time in the Gay Straight alliance I had asked the gay young man what did he think about having children. Neither did I know, I felt young, but I wanted Alison, the thought of children didn’t sound obscure, it just sounded bizarre in the context and the shadows of Alison creep on where I ask myself who would I be having the child with?

I just see myself as a single father now, eyes red and open, doing homework while my child is sleeping and the child takes the sleep for both of us, feeding me back with it’s love.

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I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did :3 I really love Jack and school boy Jack :3

Please feel free to request the next chapter!

<3

I Can't Wait7