Fellatio

The lines start to blur and when they do, that’s when the mind starts messing things up for me. When I feel like I’m falling and that I will only see Miles from a distance and sometimes I look far too much especially when he can’t hold his alcohol anymore and he just looks at anything far too long and could suddenly crack a joke before actually laughing, waiting for my reaction and he gets off laughing from me and I do so from him. 

And sex jokes and light hints seem to be the pleasure I ever seem to be getting and somehow I wish every touch Miles does on stage would be intertwined with desire and I keep watching him as he talks and I don’t even register wishing that I could feel his fingers traveling through my hair, down on my neck.

“Al?” Lower, tugging the hem of my shirt down before he goes back to being over the fabric until he pulls it off. I can see him tracing now his fingers on my chest, grinning lifting his hand up to cup my cheek, his grin now wider before he closes his eyes, letting himself immerse within me as he’d kiss me. 

“Al?” I take another sip and I watch Miles who seems to be struggling with his state of alcohol in his blood as he actually lifts himself up. “D’you know we both skipped blow job day?”

“No?” I smirk, still having Miles kissing my neck in my mind. 

“Well, we both better get someone then.” Miles says and he actually starts looking around and I’m guessing that it’s due to the cigarette box which is literally behind me. I take it and I wait for Miles to realize that it’s in my hands, some odd metaphor and I wait for Miles to look at me and I start getting a bit annoyed even when he stands up and looks under the couch. I want to kiss the back of his head, pull him closer by the neck, feel his smell , his warmth in my arms as different images seem to dance in my head. 

In the end he notices as I am clearly holding the pack and I squeeze it lightly, causing Miles to take the lighter which is right next to me, he stretches his arm but I pull a bit back and Miles drunkenly leans a bit closer. 

I hold hard not to close my eyes suggestively as his breath is upon mine.

“Congratulate me, then.” 

“With what?” He smirks and doesn’t flinch. We’ve been so close, so many times and he has even hugged me while ruffling my hair and even bit my neck once just to stash it with a laugh, we both did, but my alcohol went wrong today, I feel even a bit grumpy, I don’t know who to blame my anger on and I just stay still. I wonder how long will his need for nicotine keep him at this short distance. I blow air on him, causing both of us to flinch lightly, but holding up just like any day of treating ourselves but never eating the feast. 

“Blow job day.” I say a bit too flatly wondering where I’m I even heading to and Miles starts laughing out loud before he points at my chest, poking me and still laughing before hastily kissing me on the lips. It happens far too brief and far too fast that I don’t even register how his mouth is on my neck.

“Sure, Alex, I’ll congratulate you.” I feel my whole neck and body burning and all I have to left is to pray that he is not taking the piss as I already feel myself hard as he starts biting my neck, harder than that one time I frankly touch myself too and I just press myself harder against the couch. Miles raises his eyes to glance at me, some odd twisted victorious face plastered on him and I wonder what is he celebrating as he strokes me over the fabric, 

the thing is desire tortures and consumes you and only when you reach (achieve in some minds) love then you will get nourished and both lovers sit, healing from the fight. Somehow I feel that this love is a fight with myself when I have surrendered myself and my common sense and the fact that I am bottled up in my beliefs that nothing will happen make me feel as if I am kissing air instead of Miles’ soft lips. 

I can’t dare myself to say anything and I just feel guilty of wishing that the alcohol won’t give the excuse of both of us avoiding each other in the morning, but his touch electrifies me as actually starts tugging my shirt up before fooling me and he breaks the kiss to undo my jeans. 

I stop breathing, it feels like I have as I watch him with a very satisfied grin, that he had caught me red handed or rather with a big hard on as he touches the tip of my cock with his index finger and I gasp, my face red from desire and embarrassment, sex opens you up, it shows how much time you’ve been wanking to them

Miles pulls my underwear down, my shirt sliding down and I find the courage to pull him back into a kiss but he breaks it and once I open my eyes he blows on my cock and I just close my eyes shut, the image far too surreal as I feel his lips rub against the shaft, slowly kiss it up, he parts his lips and licks the underline roughly, making me shiver as I hold onto the rug, the floor underneath me seems to collapse and I press my head harder against the sofa, my whole body gone besides my cock which seems to be very much fucking alive from Miles’ touch. 

I keep clutching the fucking rug as Miles stops and I open my eyes to see his drunken grin and once he catches my eye he takes solely the tip in his mouth and I moan, closing my eyes again as he starts sucking lightly and I hold from thrusting in, biting my lips, far too embarrassed to moan as he keeps sucking and he slowly starts taking more, slowly taking me in and out of his mouth and he strokes my shaft with his fingers with one hand, the other caressing my thigh as he takes more and more.

I don’t hold and I lightly thrust in his mouth and I don’t see any protest from Miles so I don’t hold and I hold his head as he keeps sucking and I keep thrusting lightly, as he keeps sucking. I keep thrusting harder and harder, now my moans more than audible. I hear a zipper and I open my eyes to see Miles stroking himself and I feel myself get even more excited as Miles takes me out of his mouth and he starts teasing me by just licking my cock all over and I lean my head back, breathing really hard as he slows down on his own strokes then he takes me into his mouth entirely and starts booming me quite fast and I grab hold of his hair, pushing him to take much more of me as much as he can and I open my eyes to see him stroking himself quite fast and I see that he’s near as well and he goes even faster and that’s when I don’t hold. I hold his head tight and as deep as possible as I give out a final thrust before coming in Miles’ mouth, I gasp, moaning loudly, feeling Miles shiver and give a very muffled moan himself as I release my grip and he coughs lightly, pushing himself up.

I can’t catch my breath and neither can Miles.

We look at each other.

We both seem to crack smiles before actually giving out a small laugh.

We are far too mirrored sometimes. 

I smirk at his sticky hand and I take his hand before taking it in my mouth and I suck on his fingers, Miles pressing himself against me as I stop and I kiss the top of his head as he crawls in my lap. The faint curtain of fear seems to be fully dismantled.

“Happy late blow job day, Al.” Miles grins, both of us still avoiding each other’s eye. 

-

For Millie :D :D :D

I was tired and ill, but I really wanted to get it done, so yeah:3 

I was pretty much writing this and it ended up being quite long and I hope it was graphic enough xD I tried to be as graphic as possible :D and yeah, happy late bj day XD 

I had the thought that this would be set around the TLSP era the latest even if it's not mentioned and yeah :3

The poetic bit in the middle was because I had watched Howl with James Franco (who I have a heavy on and off relationship I either love him or hate him entirely xD and he's pretty queer no doubt and basically in Howl he was amazing and I don't think I've seen such a great portrayal of Ginsberg :O even if the movie's CGI straight couples made me cringe) so that came out xD

I just wanted the whole sex before actually dating thing going on here so yeah :O

anyway, I hope it was sexy and great? xD

The title was chosen pretty much for the straight forwardness so yeah xD

If you ever want something or you feel down just poke me and I'll get something up if I can :) 

Hope you enjoyed this and there should be a new chapter of To Miles soon :O

<3

Jamie