Because we are disgusted by anything rotten, even love as we grimace while savoring it raw.
“I hate the word love.” I cut the stake in half, even the bull thought that he loved.
“Why?” She chews slower, her icy eyes focused upon my face.
“It’s so fucking sugar coated. It’s like… I’d raise religion, but-” I drop the idea. “It describes what? A fucking heartbeat when you see him, the owner of sexy blonde hair with a Godlike body with his arrows aiming at your heart to rip it out and bite on it as he cheats on you.”
“You don’t believe in love? Fate? Eternity?” Macy stops eating, putting her fork aside and drinks her still water, wondering why she didn’t hesitate and said the first thing which came to mind? I shook my head.
“I do. Just not in that word. Like you believe in the afterlife but you don’t believe in heaven or hell I guess.” I said frowning at my comparisons.
I took her home not for anything, I don’t remember was it due a record I had or just a new movie or a plain political channel I had managed to catch while it was forbidden with politics running around as sock puppets?
I asked her if she was afraid. Macy just shrugged, tilted her head towards the ladder hidden under her arm, peaking out of each side, waiting to be unfold, put on the pavement and climbed towards the stars.
“I can escape any time, actually. All I have to do is open a window and climb out with my ladder. Maybe that’ll be the path towards there.” Another eye gesture towards the sky but I saw nothing that a thick layer of clouds hypnotizing the night upon us because they were paid to do that. I grin at her, lacing my fingers again quickly glancing downwards at her combat boots which raise her for a bit more than a few inches but she still looks young and short fitting her image of a teenager girl in lace.
“Oh.” What could I answer? Nothing came to mind as we walked up the stairs there was no point in the lift as I wasn’t as high up with the windows leaking onto the street so low that you could spit on their heads and clearly see what they had in answer. I fiddled with the lock wondering if it was the right key, but Jaidem, who managed to steal a spare opened with his eyes softer than yesterday with a newly shaved stubble with some shaving cream on his bottom lip. I nodded at his lip in a form of a greeting and he shooed my reaction off with several hand gestures. Not rude, mind you.
Macy looked at Jaidem as he looked back at her. Her dark eyes went wide as he grew gray and blonde the next second, I told her to shrug it off, not feeling easy with the amount of strangers in my empty flat. I lifted a finger to bite on, but realizing that I didn’t like biting my own flesh I dropped it, pushing my palms into my pockets with deep force as if they could drift into the under the sea world to meet with friendly stars and biting comets. Everything going up and down space mixing with sea.
I’d like to die there, bubbles flowing out of my mouth, my hair strangling me like a curtain blocking the final rays of the sun as it flashes in and out until it’s gone with Jaidem laughing at my feet.
“Devyn?” I turn my head to see Macy in a conversation with Jaidem. I take several steaks out of my face but most of them are still stuck like glue waiting to grow into my skin and pierce my eyes. I nod as a sign that I am participating in the conversation and that I’ve just answered with a silent ‘what?’
“Did you buy tea? I said we’re running out of tea.” Jaidem moaned and Macy looked back at the skinny morphing figure with now red hair sticking out of his skull in patches were gray was walking all over. I shake my head in disapproval. He pouts and mimics my hands deep in the pockets gesture and smiles at me, gesturing his fingers down as they jump two stairs at a time with a quick glance at the teenage girl he already has a jacket turned long sleeve shirt, he opens the door, doesn’t ask if anything is needed.
He closes the door behind him.
Jaidem never left my apartment before. I hesitate for a second, as Macy finds the remote and flicks through channels, through the endless sea of pop, as I yank the door open.
I look at the corridor, I feel like running outside screaming where the hell he is as I’m used to his after shave up on the walls. I close the door, pressing myself against the rough material.
Macy looks at me with her knees pressed to her chest, ladder near the window its stairs going straight towards the silver medallion locked in the black cage of the sky.
Jaidem steps inside, grinning wildly, grocery bags filled with the long gone chocolate, bananas, coffee and lettuce I find myself eating in the middle of the night, as the morphing man eats popcorn to late night movies with tears mixed with blood pouring out of the ears.
Macy doesn’t raise her eyebrows, she watches carefully, not glancing at her escape pod, because there is no need now, as I take the box of Kleenex to soak the aftershave to rub it into the walls, in case he leaves the streets empty with zombies crawling.
As zombies seem to be in fashion with sparkles in the lead.
Pink, pink sparkles glued to horse teeth with the hay getting burnt in the middle as they dance their tiki dances around, making their mouth into ideal ‘o’s and waiting for the birds to bring worms into their starving stomachs into the whole leaking with dark oil paint in the middle of their abdomen, so big that if could suck everything inside to let heads wander outside and ask where I’m I?
In the fucking stomach of those pop idols with their reeking Hollywood teeth.