Saturday, 27 April 2013

The Blunderbuss Angel said The Union is Forever 5

Back in high school I couldn’t say speak lower as if I had a headache. I was ashamed to mention the prescribed pills and we still don’t talk about depression, as if it is something shameful, but neither do people talk about HIV. Sometimes I would wish that teachers watched their words and I would say, oi, watch it, I’m depressed, but that just makes it worse when you think of it.

Depression stretched longer, myself dropping medication at times and coming back to it.

I think of Jack’s beauty and the hangover buzzes in my head, I shouldn’t have been drinking alcohol with my medicine, but it’s the last goodbye and I just look at a sleeping Kate, pulling my bath robe behind me, as I am naked and it is opened.

I take out a carton of milk, still not being used to the taste and I know she won’t wake until midday from her hen party but neither should’ve I.

I drink the pills, I might’ve mentioned it, but Kate avoids it as well. I’ve tried some therapies, meditation and sports but everything would just make it worse. Sports was like chewing gum instead of brushing your own teeth, I am one of those people who would rather have something like alcohol and medicine down the throat. When I was younger it had been drugs to phase out, but Jack doesn’t really do them, but then why would he be depressed?

I spill the carton, swear and the carton drops on the floor.

I feel even worse, it’s all my fault and I lean my head against the counter and I start crying.


Sorry for the delay and I hope you enjoyed it ^_^

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