Emphasize Heaven

It’s very awkward.

“Hi.” He says and I see how he aged and that he no longer looks like a teenager, well, he looks like he managed to reach puberty after going on some testosterone pills, so I’ll give him that. 

“Oh, fucking hell, fuck, suck harder.” He said slamming his head against the wall accidentally, pulling my head closer to his body. 

“Um, yeah, hi.” Why I’m even drinking apple juice, usually people think his ID is fake and Alex ends up sipping rum from my straw when the bartender ain’t looking. 

I went on top of him, as he kept pulling my nipples before pulling me down, frenching me passionately. 

Alex keeps biting his lips, sipping his whisky slowly and I fucking want him again, not even recalling what lead to sex and what happened after sex, but rather the act and he just looks at me and sighs, probably thinking that all is lost. He turns away from me and I grab him by the sleeve. I don’t say don’t go and I know we look different and it’s been a couple of years and I don’t know what I’ve been doing and I hope neither does he. 

I keep holding his arm and he turns around, having the same smile and that makes me blush. I want him to kiss me again, I want him to hold me, I want to see him be clumsy again and I want to just go out, I want to have a first kiss again. 

Alex just looks at me and we keep our distance. 

“Would you join me for dinner? There’s a good vegan place, I’ve heard.” I don’t know what’s holding either of us, I believed in Jamie too much back then, but now on the edge of The Kills breaking up in my eyes as we have no sex between us, I feel like I don’t have a difference who shoves the guitar between my legs. 

“...I’m not a vegan anymore. Jamie isn’t and...” I see Alex sigh and I feel him lean a bit at the same time. I look at his brown eyes and I feel the shivers going through me and the pain of not touching him. “I missed you.”

He leans even closer, his lips so close to mine and I don’t feel anything besides pain running through my body and desire. 

“I’ve... heard about Jamie and yet, you still go in synch with him. Alison, I don’t know. Trust me, it aches just as much.” His arms are trembling and are on my arms, sliding up and down. I don’t feel the people around us and I know Jamie could be drowning in jealousy from losing a woman he can fuck in the middle of the night. 

“It aches even more.” He swallows and actually dares to slightly touch my neck with his fingers and he whispers that in my ear. 

I turn to him to see him grinning at me, just as dunked in love as he was before and that soothes me, it wraps me around in comfort and I stare at him for a while and we stay there for a small while, before he grabs me by the wrist and we aim to head out of Jamie’s. 

“Alison!” I hear Jamie say and I turn around with Alex and I can feel him be on the edge of confusion. 

“See ya.” I turn around and I know that Jamie won’t follow me, still thinking that tomorrow he will call me and I will suck him off as usual, as I could never find anyone else and I was scared to call Alex. 

“Tough luck for Jamie, then?” He grins as we keep heading north, myself getting nervous that he would still drag me to the vegan restaurant and once I ask, Alex just laugh, saying no. 

“Y’know what I missed?” I ask his attention fully on me, as we walk without touching, but I can see Alex fiddling with both of his arms. “You’re gonna laugh, but a full romantic dinner.”

I stop.

“I mean, you know the whole situation with Jamie.” I feel awful for bringing up the other man in my life, but instead Alex just nods.

“No, don’t worry. I dated Alexa during that time, I really thought you wouldn’t come back after Jamie called that morning, asking you to come back, that he and Kate wouldn’t get along. I really didn’t understand how could you fuck two different people with a few hours apart and fuck, I was really making love for the first time, I dunno.” He stops for a bit, taking out his iPhone and trying to find the place he is looking for, actually taking my hand in his and stroking it, as he tries to focus on the really bad maps which seem to be pointing to nowhere. “I really want a romantic dinner, too, trust me.”

“With you.” He emphasizes and looks at me. He intertwines his fingers with my own and we keep walking. “I just with the whole Jamie and then there was Jack, I felt as if I couldn’t have you for a cheap shag sometime, I felt as if I could never have you, with you giving so much love around. My relationships didn’t last, whenever I’d presume something and well, here I was...”

He bites his lip, stopping for a bit.

“Risking. Fuck, I love you.” And he takes my face in his hands, stroking the cheeks, grinning madly, savouring the last moment and the coming ones as he leans in to kiss, as I close the gap, my heart racing as I open my mouth, letting our tongues touch and I’m shivering from desire and I keep running my hands through his hair, pulling him closer, Alex thinking that I’m shivering from the cold, so without stopping the kiss, he takes off his jacket, putting it on my shoulders as I kiss him deeper. 

I get too turned on by Turner and I feel also hunger raiding me, as I didn’t think of the appetizers when I saw him talking to Moss, asking her something until he saw me and smiled, before going white, recalling in what situation we were. 

He pulls back, looking at me, stroking my cheeks with his fingers. 

“Fuck it, I love you, I always have. I don’t care who you love.” His voice trembles. “I’m here, I won’t hide anymore, I fucking want you.”

He flushes slightly.

“Not just sexually, I...” He stops, kissing my forehead. “I need you. The ball is in your court, want me as a lover, want me among the ranks of White and Hince, sure. Just don’t throw me away.” He starts kissing my neck. 

“I really can’t hold, I’m so sorry.” He strokes my neck with his nose, his arms trailing down my back and up, warming me up with his love. 

“Alex.” I can see his broken look and how empty he is without my love, I keep looking at him, feeling overwhelmed by dancing in his love and all the feelings. I feel just as empty as he does, I need his love which I haven’t been getting lately, even if we see each other in the grocery store, something stops us, yet we choose the same milk and the pain trailed on. He keeps kissing my neck tenderly. I stroke his hair, kissing the top of his head. He feels as if he curled up entirely, ready for me to hold him. “You know, you know everything.”

I feel like I’m suffocating. Alex feels like he’s heard enough and he’s nearly crying, kissing my face all over. 

Now I’m holding his face now and I can see him crying. I hand him back his jacket, laughing.

“I love you. I... I’m not hiding.” I feel the fire burn my throat and then the desire to have Alex overwhelms me heavily and we keep kissing, as he doesn’t stop kissing me all over anything he can reach, even my hands and I want him, just as I always have. Quoting Alex, I want us to make love again, I want to actually wake up and keep making love. I don’t want to stop ever. I keep feeling his tears and we’re both shivering, but we don’t feel the temperature around us any longer. 

“I need you, as much as you need me, I swear. I need you.” I kiss his temple, as Alex strokes my hair. 

“You look good blonde, y’know, didn’t really expect it.” As he steps a bit back to see me being finally his. “Fuck, you’ve grown.”

We both start laughing.

“Of course not.” I nudge him and I kiss his cheek. “You look good with puberty upon you, shaved yet?” 

He flips at me and grabs me to kiss my own cheek tenderly before he stands in front of me and his hands go under my shirt and he breaths out in ecstasy. 

After we came, Alex pulled me up, resting his head on my shoulder, his eyes closed, breathing out heavily yet heaven playing on his lips, as he held me tight, holding a heavy heaven with no strength needed whatsoever. 

-

I ship them so much ToT I can't, apparently there isn't really any Alison/Alex fanfiction I could find, so I ended rereading everything I've ever written xD and then didn't hold and wrote this and it's so beautiful T__T Oh, Alex T____T 

At this point of existence I ship Alison/Alex more than anyone T___T and it was different for me to write a more mature Alex with him banging into anything, even if he did in a flashback and he's so cute T___T 

I know, I've got the queue but I'm trying to force myself to catch up on Rizzles so I know everything what's up xD currently I'm glued to Sailor Moon (I've never watched it in my childhood and both me and Callie are hardcore Ikuhara fans XD) and I've written this and sometimes I do stick a story which is not in the queue right after its freshly baked :D

I don't think I've written such an intense confession scene before T__T and it was beautiful

I'd gladly continue if anyone is intrigued :D and wants to see them have sex again :D:D:D:D  and what will Jamie do? Dun dun duuuun! :O 

Now, I have to think of a title XD (puts on Alex Turner thinking glasses) hmmm...

I'm not sure if I'm happy with the title, because it is cheesy but that was what I was aiming for and soon enough it'll still to me as well :D

So please feel free to request :D

<3