Saturday, 3 August 2013


“One day is not like the other, hell, one hour is not like the other.” Jack says and looks at me with a smile. I caught myself confused and he just shrugs. “Sometimes you want to crawl under the bed, y’know, and sleep. It’s not like you’re even suicidal, it’s about not harming yourself, but letting something natural take you away even just for a while, since death is not coming.”

And Jack keeps smiling, stretching his neck to see the act which had managed to grace our small town which no one even calls home, everyone just keeps taking a train to Glasgow or Edinburgh, I wish I had gone once with Jack, pushing him from behind as we would see excited blokes enter Ann Summers and we would laugh at the erection which reaches their teeth.

“Hey.” And he points to the top of the staircase and I help him up. Jack can stand and even walk, but he’s pretty weak, but he says he walks around his house, but I’ve never been at his to see him walk in the night for water or in the day for a sandwich.

I help him up and he stands for a bit on his own, ignoring the act, but rather looking at the sky and I get the wheelchair up and eventually he sits, giving me a tap on the shoulder and I watch his hair, as his eyes are focused on the small band celebrating a small holiday.

Eventually we leave with the rest of the people, our entertainment limited as our thoughts sometimes, just like mine sometimes. I’m still surprised I managed to talk to Jack today, asking him how he were, Jack looking surprised and agreeing to join me in watching the local band, even if Jack were better. Sometimes he plays at the pub for a small while, as he gets too uncomfortable and Jamie, another band member ends up being drunk by the end of it. I’ve heard rumours between those two, which had given me hope that maybe Jack was gay, there were never any women around Jack, just men. While Jamie had both genders always around him with drugs.

I keep pushing him, as he forgot to charge his wheelchair and I see him start biting his fingernails.

“Hey, so.” He doesn’t finnish it for a while and looks behind at me and stops to look at me. I really don’t think he’s blind, so we stop in front of a hill. “Hey, just step up and we can just go down, I do that often by myself anyway, you’ll be more weight at least.”

He smirks and I push forward, feeling fear drain my teeth in, as its a short ride, but I still get scared and I stop too early, causing Jack to laugh.

“Sometimes, I just like going fast. That’s why I don’t think I should get a license. Not that I’d get it anyway, I’m too weak.” And he stretches out his arms. I can’t help but notice how upwards his lips have been and I look at his hair which I’ve tried copying but in the end just chopped it all off, thinking that he wouldn’t notice me. My sister when she found out my crush, it wasn’t about it being homosexual, but more like why would I go for handicapped person, which made me cut off the conversation.

Sometimes I wish we were both female, we’d still be gay, but it would be more normal for me to hold him regardless of closure, and I would like to hold him. I would like to press my forehead against his shoulder if we were laying down and fuck, his lips. We’re walking in silence, so I feel myself daze off as I see myself taking off his shirt, licking his nipples, as he grins, pushing my head down to the target and I undo the buttons of his jeans.

I trace my tongue lower and lower, Jack breathing deeper, grabbing my hair and pulling it, spreading out his legs and I take off his jeans. I would notice how skinnier his legs are than mine, but I don’t think I would care, I would just tug his underwear down, revealing his cock and instantly taking it in my mouth, Jack clutching the bed sheets with his other hand, thrusting harder in my mouth.

“Fuck, Brian.” He’d say and I would keep sucking, touching myself to the feeling of his in my mouth and I would be booming him faster and faster, feeling his cock get harder and harder in my mouth, throb and I take his cock out, sucking just on his tip, watching how heavily he is breathing and I take it fully in my mouth as he comes in my mouth.

I get an erection from these thoughts and I’m glad I’m behind Jack, which sounds ironic, but I’m happy that he’s just humming some tune he had written a few days ago.

Jack turns to look at me in the eye, barely moving, trying to catch every reaction he can get out of me and we stop for the traffic light, if I were alone, I would cross, but I don’t, instead I hold the wheelchair tighter.

“I hate how even dumb shit like Harry Potter doesn’t have any LGBT representation. In the end there is no nostalgia in your head, as all depicted something you’ll never have, no?” Jack says and I feel myself blush, feeling myself outed and Jack smirks, fixing his hair. We cross the road and I lean forward to be above him and it’s late already and people are either driving back or are back at the square spilling cheap beer.

I start shaking and I feel a bit short of breath, closing my eyes, teeth even pressed firmly together as I feel Jack’s fingers go to my temple and I can feel him smile from this short distance and I start shaking even harder, terrified, not about people seeing me, but about being touched by another boy. I open my mouth and he traces his index fingertip on my lip, pulling it slightly. I open my eyes and he sticks his tongue in my mouth, pulling me lower harshly and I feel turned out, his hand running through my short hair as I let my hands wander on his chest, sliding under his shirt, feeling how burning his skin is and touching someone else’s skin for the first time seems too hot and fuck.

I pull away and Jack has a smug grin, as he nods to go faster and I don’t say anything, as I see Jack playing with the buttons on his shirt and as we are going back to his, he sometimes looks at me, raises himself and licks my lips.

Eventually we make to his, he holds onto the walls, getting used to being back on his feet again and then he presses me harshly against the wall, his hand in front of my pants, stroking my crotch as he keeps looking at me as his fingers slide into my underwear and fuck, he takes my cock in his hand and I start moaning, feeling myself harden ever than before, that it even aches.

“Shhhh.” Jack says softly, holding onto the drawer near by, stroking my cock up and down, not bothering to take off my jeans. He sees how timid I am.

He goes down on his knees, opens his mouth and slowly licks my tip before taking it fully in his mouth and I fucking gasp, accidentally banging my hand against the wall, but then I bite my own hand, embarrassed of the whole action of another man sucking me off.

I can’t stop gasping and sliding in and out of his mouth, as he keeps booming me, his eyes fixed on me.

“Fuck, Jack. Fuck, fuck.” I whisper, grabbing hold of his hair and pulling it as I scream and I come in his mouth, holding his mouth where I want it to be. My knees shake harder as I come and I nearly collapse on the ground next to Jack, but isntead I feel my whole face redden and I see Jack tracing his fingers on my stomach.

“Can I fuck you?” He grins, tilting his head and I just nod, to which Jack takes me to his bedroom, I presume, I don’t notice the posters even on the ceiling and the mixture of fake glow in the dark stars as I feel him penetrate me for the first time and it fucking aches.

“Fuck! You ain’t a virgin?” Jack smirks as he reaches out for a drawer, raiding for lube and eventually he finds some, kissing me, stroking my cock again, up and down, teasing the tip with his fingers. “I’m sorry, fuck.”

He is stroking my hair.

“I got carried away.” I just reach out for his mouth and kiss him harder.

“You can fuck me if you want.”

“I want both.” And I let my tongue in, our tongues touching and my erection is back and I forget about the pain, as he lets a lubricated finger in, slowly and I arch my back in pleasure, moaning, looking at Jack in the eye before he starts licking my neck, we don’t hold long enough and soon enough he is fucking me, his dick is inside me and it feels fucking great as my own hips want more of him, as pleasure rocks through my body with every thrust and I spread my legs wider. I pull his hair again, to get him closer as our tongues touch out of our mouths and my cock is nearly fucking exploding.

“I’m near.” And that makes Jack come inside me, as he bites my neck hard and I gasp in release as my hips thrust harder against Jack’s cock, harder and harder until I feel numb, until all I want is lips and I kiss him, harder and harder, until I feel myself slip away somewhere with Jack, into a day where he will be.


I was about to post it and I realised I had no title (as usual XD) and I was looking thro-

Oh, spoilers, XD anyway, I was looking at a article related to shall we say Jack's character and I saw the word extend and it fits it perfectly.

Jack and Brian live in the middle of nowhere and yesterday me and Callie were in such middle of nowhere, which I told that could easily be the setting.

I've been very excited about this story as it actually came to me in a dream. That I was besides Jack White on such small town event and then we were rolling on a wheel chair (Jack wasn't actually disabled in my dream) so I kept thinking and in reality I don't know much disabled LGBT characters unfortunately and we should all be represented. Jack became a very deep character and unfortunately I can't tell much at this point, but about the dream, I woke up, inspired and started thinking, I surely didn't want a heterosexual romance, enough of those and sick of them, sorry. And then I remembered the Brian Molko request and things fit perfectly.

I've been dying to discuss depression and mental health issues, which are taboo in our society and even in my head, so I wanted a character who deals with depression and other aspects, someone actually open, as I've dealt with different issues but not depression face to face.

I've been pretty down as I've said before and I woke up, inspired and I finally felt alive again, not that I wasn't, but I actually felt inspired again, heavily, to write, like I had been with the first chapters of Working Mica and Working Mica in general, I could see the characters, I would think about the twists and turns for the past days and I still do.

I don't believe in Writer's Block, it's all bullshit, I'm very sorry, if you ask me, it's a excuse for "writers" and during my life I've seen enough "writers".

The only thing which can be called writer's block, is sorrow, depression. There is this amazing quote by Radclyffe Hall in The Well Of Loneliness which says (unfortunately I'm sleepy and the quote cannot be found online for some bizarre reason) that there are two different types of sorrows, one which causes you to write, but Stephen had the other. Well, I was with Stephen, with my health fucked up and away from home.

I'm still recovering and I'm waiting for my exam results which should come on Tuesday, which are making me anxious.

I'm now home, but yeah, the exam results are hanging upon me and it's awful.

So, I guess, please wish me luck.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did,

Thank you and please feel free to request, please please XD


No comments:

Post a Comment