Pete stared at me and Jamie for a bit the girl looking up at the ceiling maybe at the lack of cracks and how the wall-paper started peeling off at the top edges as if she could just stand up on her tiptoes and rip it off with her fingers.
I wonder if she would put it in her hair or if she would stuff it in her mouth.
Jamie shakes Pete’s hand, maybe for not really stealing anything besides his wife, but it doesn’t seem major, he has hands, so he just shrugs it off, sulks a bit as I unwrap her slowly, taking off the paper and seems like Christmas after all even if we hid the plastic tree we had and Jamie had walked around the house with Christmas lights as a scarf dancing around with Kate.
“What’s your name?” I ask the girl looking at her soft polka dot sweater and jeans slightly ripped on the end of the right even if I could see her name.
“Meg. Mum used to read me stories, she said Meg fits me.” She smiled and I just leaned my head closer to her fabric, all the wrappers around and it felt like it were an explosion of a condom, well, it was really, so I just sat in front of her, wondering how long would it get to get back home, wherever it was, maybe I had to take the boat.
Sometimes after Jamie had done bacon and Kate would refuse, I’d swirl it onto a fork and just look at it looking a bit up to see a red headed women, maybe dyed hair and a different room and she’d press her palm against my cheek and in one exhale the air would make the room fall and I’d have Jamie eating straight from the frying pan some fish which would be done for himself and smeared with ketchup.
And he licks the pan causing me to shiver and then I wake up, I’ve been having too much daydreams lately from just looking at something and I see myself holding Meg’s sweater.
“What’s your name?” I guess the word dad slipped through her ability to speak many many years ago and I could picture Alison throwing her up as Meg would close her eyes and I just stared at Meg. I wondered in which house was Alison locked in the end and why I was chosen with Jamie out of all people, maybe it was due to the fact that it would just be more entertaining.
I guess dad doesn’t really works and the eye colour can be mismatched if you put the light in her eyes.
“Jack.” I just say even if she heard all of Pete’s words and I just see Pete whispering things into Jamie’s ear as he plays with his hair listening and I look at his tight jeans and I just go back and forth threw Meg’s body. I press myself against her. Maybe she did see Alison and I just look back at Pete and he looks back at me, rubbing off the blood off his skin with the blade. I wonder why would even need a blade but he just doesn’t say anything.
“How are the dead?” Jamie asks Pete and I shake slightly wondering if Alison would dancing among their dark brown flowers as her body would slowly dissolve there if I would look too close into the horizon and she’d infinite, she’d forget about home most likely.
Sometimes the household feels too cold and Jamie just stares me.
“Fine. Dancing.” So Alison does dance or for Meg, mum does dance and then Meg does a little dance herself as if trying to prove that she herself can also dance maybe even like the dead, like her mum as she holds hands and smiles too much and I close her mouth, looking at her deep in my head, telling her to fuck off the alive.
I guess I would kiss her through my hand, scared that death would cling to me and Pete would take me to the dead and death would be a dance among those brown flowers, so I cling stronger to Meg, an imagery, a living cell of Alison and she just looks down on me, liking my hair and saying softly and I wonder if Jamie sees an Alison in her or if he does not who does he see as person after all.
“How fun is it?” And I see Jamie grab his coat and Pete presses his blade against the back of Jamie’s neck and rips the coat in half.
“Enough, James.” And it feels weird all of a sudden, just a reminder that death is a druggie it chooses the wrong people to sort into the houses nearest to death just to freak out those who won’t.
Then with the ripped coat Jamie leaves both me and Meg. Pete follows him, the blade going back and forth, keeping me and Meg a rather safe distance from it and I keep watching Jamie who goes faster and faster to the shore.
“Kate’s dead!” I yell but Pete catches up, traces the sharp side of the blade with his fingers and presses it against the waves as they slowly suck his fingers vomiting out a boat which they both board. But then he is heading towards the dead with Pete rowing slowly with his fingers as he slowly drifts to fall asleep and then I just hug Meg tighter and I wonder if he will get Kate back after all.
So I go back with Meg into Pete’s bar. She sits on a stool counting the drawn cloud aloud and saying their colours as I just take out all the money from the till and start counting it, maybe to check that there is something I do not hold and Meg just watches me.
“Can I have an apple?” I shrug and close the till, looking behind myself into the kitchen and the young girl actually does follow me, most likely hungry from the death of her mother and I guess the apearence of her after.
I open a fridge to find two apples in the freezer. She takes one by the leave and rocks it back and forth around her neck, I close my eyes not to feel cold and I feel her fingers on my eyelashes but I say nothing, knowing her height and just kiss her forehead.
“Um, dad, Dad Jack, Jack.” Meg says trying to bite the apple I gave her and then the other two, leaving symmetrical teeth traces so I just say nothing, wondering what would Jamie do with Kate back, I guess just sex as usual with her fiddling with the curtains and rolling all over the bed until I would enter the room and do the bed for her and she would snicker a bit and I would just glance back and she would think I like her with my room being a shrine to Alison thoughts.
And she tastes all those names and I just wonder if Pete would have music here besides the notes he either hums himself or sometimes does something else like banging himself against the plate with his head on the table, maybe also having day dreams it’s something no one really wants to talk about.
Day dreams are the path to home but how do you keep them, how do you hold them and spread them out?
You walk out of the nightmare, so I wait for Pete and I wonder how will he bring Jamie like and if he would be able to walk, the dead shouldn’t be that beautiful, they are the dead after all, I don’t think you can look at a dead person that long anyway, you’ll just press your chin against the chest and cry holding the living cells well at least to the mind’s belief if you’re alive you can make something else live since we produce babies after all after such pleasure even if our coat is a dead material holding all the living blood inside, death keeps up in tact that is why Pete comes to visit.
Pete is our skin, keeping us intact, reminding that soon he’ll get to the core with his blade and the road home is going back to life and the houses will collapse.
And here is the second chapter.
I keep liking Pete's role more and more and in the beginning Jack wasn't supposed to see Jamie leave actually, but yeah.
Hope you'll enjoy this chapter!