I sit on the stairs, my head against the walls and I hear the strumming of the guitar going harder and sometimes I hear screams from below.
My hair is now short again.
Maybe because then I believed in something and when I had opened the door the thoughts of him kissing me flashed through my mind.
I shouldn’t have nodded at that time when we were both smoking and then stabbing out my cigarette on the wallpaper with trembling hands I had taken your head and slammed your lips against my own. You had kissed me back.
Don’t deny it, you bloody kissed me back.
I look at the pink in front of my eyes. Did I dye it because Kate wouldn’t dye it pink? Or because I wouldn’t dye it pink? I see myself crying again.
You fucking kissed me back.
You fucking did.
I slam my hand against the wall.
I slam my hand harder.
Music, music, music, I had just nodded.
“You kissed me.” I mumbled, remembering how I just pressed you against the sill and I wondered if we would fall out of the window, but then you just shifted me from it, a quick look in your eyes I believe matching the size of your erection.
Does Kate even turn you on?
I have more breasts than she does.
Or maybe not.
So I have less breasts. But he fucked me. Ok, he fucked her too and that bump is evidence of some Hince-Moss combination.
I start crying harder.
You had wanted me.
I remember how your old jeans felt and how that sweater of yours felt I had taken off. I remember how I licked your waist before taking you in my mouth and that exhale of yours when I swallowed and you apologized.
I remember that week you kept giving me orange juice after blow jobs.
I remember we hadn’t done any music and I don’t think we left anywhere and you had a girlfriend and I tried not to think about it.
You tried not to think about it. I just look down.
You wrote the last good bye for me, didn’t you?
Well you did a fucking great job and I stab the cigarette against the wall instead of my fist.
I actually wrote this one a few days ago when I had another request and I had been dying to write some Jamie/Alison. Today's written Jack poem will be tomorrow, maybe with something else, I don't know:3