Bar Eyes 5

I feel like I’ve gained a home. Alex forced me to try and find a job, but realized that I’m not there yet, I’m in mourning still, even if I’m home.

I try cooking and I end up burning everything, so that Alex always orders take away, he doesn’t eat, he just watches me and drinks someone’s blood by the end of the night. I think we get too many murders to be noticed, I honestly don’t know and Alex doesn’t care too much. He can move and that’s about it and his pub is pretty much... not noticed, but people still come here. I don’t know if the bodies come back alive, because they don’t look alive. 

I ask him that one day and he says he can just drink some blood and that’s about it, sometimes he kills, so there goes my theory that there are some dead people, but usually they’re so drunk that he jokes that the wives don’t want them back. I don’t know why wouldn’t you go drinking with whomever you are registered with for a while. 

I end up wondering about too many things in the night, but all I do is sleep while Alex works and the day is done by us walking around the city, wandering around all the closes and we end up wandering into a second hand store with wedding dresses on the ceilings.

The owners seem to be wearing the same old Topshop clothing. I keep checking on the leather jackets as Alex looks at some cowboy boots and soon enough we leave.

I dream of that place and I see Jamie there, smoking a cigarette asking me how I am and in the end of the dream Alex keeps banging on the door and Jamie pulls me deeper into the store, begging me to remember, but I have no idea, I’ve just seen him recently.

So that gives no reason for Alex to be jealous, but it still brings concern. Alex keeps dreaming of both of them punching each other’s noses up to the point that I drag Alex to Boots to buy some bandages, as he ends up healing sometimes, but sometimes he doesn’t.

We can’t drag him to a GP, so we just keep asking Boots personnel and saying that we’re tourists and that’s about it. 

Alex lies in bed, I tried to find whatever we did to the monopoly and I feel him hug me from behind.

“He tells me you’re in love with him. Jamie, I mean.” He says quietly and I turn to look at him. 

“I have no idea, who he is, he just comes in my dreams. I told you everything, really, Alex, I’m telling you. He keeps telling me how wherever he is, we’re dating, but I really don’t know.” I feel worried myself unless Jamie has hallucinations obviously or he simply found photos of me and glued them on the back of his cereal boxes. 

Alex takes my hand and kisses my wrist and I feel his teeth for a while, but it stops soon enough. He drops my hand.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do anything.” And he starts searching for his cigarettes. I grab him by his hands and soon enough we’re on each other again. I start taking off his shirt and his hands are stroking my back, pulling my jeans down and I keep breathing harder and harder.

We stop for a second to catch our own breath and grin.

I still feel guilty about the other man which somehow managed to wander into our lives and so does Alex for overreacting.

But soon enough our mouths are on each other again and I feel Alex teasing me by biting my neck. I start getting anxious and desperate as he starts licking my neck, pushing me onto the bed. I still feel something else among us.

I feel anxious.

He feels anxious.

We haven’t had sex yet.

Fuck, neither of us had even properly said I love you, even if it hangs upon the air, he still hasn’t bit me and the topic never wandered into that.

“Don’t leave me.” I don’t know who says it, I just feel his heavy breath on my stomach, kissing his way down as my hands grasp the bed covers tighter. “I won’t, if you won’t.”

And it feels like a deal is made.

Alex pulls down my underwear and I close my eyes as I feel his tongue and I arch my back in pleasure. He holds my hips down, turning me on by holding me and I watch him, how he gets turned on himself and he keeps licking me harder and teasing my entrance with his tongue and I just keep gasping, my thoughts scattering other than asking him to lick faster and I can’t even hear myself anymore as I grab his hair and I pull it as I come.

I start gasping louder as he keeps licking me as my orgasm last and I come again, before he pulls himself up and kisses me, stroking my cheek.

We keep kissing, before he stops and I see him flushed before I realize the big deal and I actually start laughing lightly.

“You didn’t buy condoms?” I smirk. 

“Fuck, course I did, more like...” He sighs, grinning at himself as well. “Try to picture me, buying condoms for the first fucking time in years and well, yeah, thinking if to take flavoured or not.”

He obviously mumbles the last bit, but I still promise myself to tease him about it and I can actually see him standing in Boots some day when I spent the morning sleeping, drooling over his side of the pillow as he stood there wondering if he had the guts and if it would lead to sex eventually. 

I don’t think I’ll ever replay the image in my head enough.

I wrap my legs around him and Alex pulls his underwear off.

“I’m rusty, I mean it.”

“I don’t fucking care.”

Alex just exhales grinning and pulls my bottom lip. I start ruffling his hair as we kiss deeper. It feels exciting and I try to push memories away from my head, away and I’m entangling my fingers in his hair, he looks lovely with it

and fuck.

He pushes away for a bit and I keep my eyes closed and when I open them I grin, as he just bites his bottom lip shyly as the foil is broken. 

-

There was going to be a sex scene but the next chapter popped up in my head, which is a massive plot twist and Callie has been asking me "why" every hour of today as I've written it nearly xD I've decided to keep this one as such and yeah :D enjoy your time while you can? xD

I still gave Alison the feeling of alienation towards everything besides your partner which I had and frankly still do, so yeah.

And the second-hand store! It's back! It's a lovely surreal place which was actually recommended by one of my creative writing teachers, actually on the same course I met Callie (she quit and I still snicker about it, since she chose a different course and then we re-met accidentally xD) and it's the same teacher which made me write poetry, so we should all love her haha xD she was awesome xD anyway, the store is amazing and yeah :3 

The condoms conversation was an image which came to me and I still smirk about xD

I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, please tell me :D so I will post the next chapter faster with a big unexpected even to me plot twist xD 

<3

Jamie