Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Close 5

I can’t be Kate, I can barely hold a gun in my hands knowing that I’d have to shoot and at the moment, I wouldn’t able, I’d even press it against my own head, just not against anyone else’s

and what if I miss-

I could see him, but not myself. 

Jamie doesn’t tell me his masterplan, saying that it’s better for it to stay in his head, to make sure it’s not insane, so that the idea would sprout and he said it motioning with his hands, that he would be convinced that it’s good enough-

At the time being we enter a diner, intending not to pay and I can’t help but chew slowly and the food barely going within me as if the first time all over again, when he had invited me out and I had dreamt of him, wondering how would his lips feel, how he would pin me down, my breath stopping, all of its speed shifting to the heart as he would trace his fingers down my lips and neck, something being ridiculously gracious about him, as if all was planned under the cape, eyes only left to reveal the magician’s tricks. I was nervous even with him and he seemed colder than I had thought and he had told me briefly of Kate, as I had recalled him in the papers and then the hand cast seemed to make sense all of a sudden. 

He orders food as I keep silent, looking outside at the street and I wish we were by the sea, like the first month after Kate’s death when Jamie seemed not to realize that she was gone and whenever he’d leave the hotel room, I’d think in a drunk haze that he would try, that he’d go to find her, that he’d really try and I’d find that romantic, even if I wasn’t the centre of his love, I enjoyed watching him, I enjoyed waking up earlier and guess with every stir if he would wake, I would enjoy the rise of his shoulders, his sleepy shave, when he would never cut himself, used to the whole process of doing the same thing day after day and not blinking when I’d ask him if he’d ever miss a day, besides hangovers, didn’t seem to be the case and I wondered if he ever counted the strokes. 

I don’t eat as I watch a dog approach Jamie and he just smiles lightly as he starts stroking the dog behind the ears, the animal’s hateful expression slowly melting as he just sits besides my companion as Jamie catches my eye and we just look at each other, wondering where has the love gone, why couldn’t we grasp it and use it as an umbrella again?

And we eat, as the dog sits under the table, blissfully aware of Jamie’s stroking and scratching his ears as we glances at me and changes his mind. Then with one last bite, Jamie nods towards the exit and he starts muttering the numbers in German, some small thing he had found amusing and on the two he shuts up, as the waitress walks by and once we reach three we make a run for it, the dog instantly springing to life as well and as we run out, I can hear the dog’s heavy breathing mixed with our own. 

Jamie takes out a crowbar quickly out of his coat and breaks the window of the first blue car and the glass smashes, causing the dog to start barking so that I have to grab it and try to shut it’s fucking mouth and instead the dog runs to Jamie as he opens the doors and we both just jump in, the dog deciding to be the third passenger, Jamie starts to hot wire the car with Archie still barking and poking Jamie with his head, demanding some attention (he should queue since we haven’t fucked in a while) as before I even exclaim what the fuck Jamie hits the gas and we just all jerk backwards.

As we drive I look at the dog’s medallion around his neck in the shape of a bone.

“What the fuck... His name is Archie.” I look at Jamie disgusted, Jamie smirks once we’re out of the region, all of our shoulders easing from tension and the car already low on gas, at least the owner didn’t lose petrol money for today. I wonder if I should pet the dog, as he licks my hand. “Why the fuck would you call a dog a human name?”

“Because he’s as smart as a person.” I glare at him. He quickly pats Archie on the head. “I like Archie... his name and his-”

I narrow my eyes.


“What the fuck.” I snap, just turn to look at the window as Archie proceeds to bribe me with licking my fingers and biting my already chipped nails, as I feel Jamie keep glancing at me until the car runs out of gas and we all exit, long gone and we briefly hug as I smile into his coat, feeling his fingers tangled with something not love in my hair. 


I was shy to post the chapter yesterday when I finished it (and I'm nearly done with the next one). I quite missed this format and I dunno it's lovely to pick up something I've started writing before and I just love this story and I ship Jamie/Alison here as fuck XD and me and Callie were discussing how nice and weird Jamie ended up being in this story. 

One of my biggest inspirations for this story is the Satellite video, which I have no idea how often I've watched it and I think it's surely one of my favourite music videos ever made and my favourite scene had always been the diner one where they just flee after eating a bit. So I had shamelessly stolen that as it seems fitting. 

The whole idea with Archie was actually Callie suggesting out loud like what if Jamie ended up grabbing Archie somewhere to which I had replied that I have a better idea xD and in general, it's weird because Archie was never supposed to be in this story and he's not an often character in my fanfics unfortunately, I should change that xD 

I just love describing touch and pretty much intimate emotions and I always get shivers, so yeah xD 

I kind of found the choice of calling a dog Archie weird, but that's just me. xD 

I just ship them too much sometimes even if I think we all know that well… in reality they broke up for good, so yeah. But yeah, dunno, I loved them as a couple and I have no fucking idea what the fuck happened between them and with Alison's allowance xD which she had stated, we all can fantasize about them xD 

I hope you enjoyed it and please tell me if you did, as I'm quite anxious about it as I fell in love with the story all over again :3



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