Monday, 4 November 2013

To Miles 4

We danced quite a while, the night spinning in a long twirl, us getting closer until my hands had went under his shirt and Miles had pulled my lip with his teeth, it really dawned on me, that out of all people, I didn’t want to report him

All of a sudden, I wondered if my job was so appealing after all.

Miles pulls me out of the dance floor, to the booths and takes his sling bag from under a seat, waving to the man from before, who eyes me with some hurt, I had stolen his date from before after all and a very good looking date, I must add. People just seem to keep coming, the heat still remaining from the day and even more due to the lack of proper ventilation in this facility. I follow him out of the bar, our hands separating not to ask questions in the resistant outside. 

I know what’s going to happen, we’ll go back to ship and we’ll fuck.


We don’t say a word to each other, keeping our silence until we reach an alleyway and just as I’m about to speak, Miles takes his shirt off, revealing his body and I feel myself getting turned on even more, which causes him to smirk as he gets closer to me and takes my own shirt off, as our bodies brush.


His hand slides down my pants. Shit.

“S-Miles, I don’t think this is a good idea.” I say against his lips, as he’s about to kiss me. Miles pulls back and smiles at me, opening his own sling bag and taking the undershirt and the rest, hat included. 

“You’re right, maybe the ship when ever-”

“No, I don’t think it’a good idea.” I feel like my own words hare hitting me hard and he stops with the hat midair in his hands. Miles looks at me confused. Maybe he thinks I’m too young, after all, maybe he thinks I’ve never had relations before, I don’t know what’s running through his head, maybe he thinks I’m a stupid scared questioning guy. He puts on the hat and waits for me to do so, as he motions me to dress up.

We start walking back and I feel horrible. Miles offers me a cigarette and I take it as he lights mine from his own, winking at me, which makes me feel a bit better.

“I’m sorry.” I apologize, watching him try to do a smoke circle and fail.

“Don’t worry, Al, it’s fine, I was scared as fuck too. I mean, we are considered illegal and sodomy for what we do and frankly, it’s bullshit. If it was that wrong, I think more actions would be against us and there would be less of us. I don’t think if being gay was that wrong is judged upon how it is.” Miles tries to reassure me and pats me on the shoulder, as we watch the bars with low amount of people start to close down. 

“It’s not that.” I object him.

“Then what is it?” And that is what slaps me across the face and I just look away. 

“I think... the navy is sending off too many gay men. And we’re still on shore, it’s easy to just discharge us, even easier, actually.” Saying my own thoughts aloud, that I could easily send someone off tonight and I shouldn’t be fooling around with someone I don’t want off and I haven’t even gotten to know him properly, I don’t know what does he do offshore, where he’s from, why had he decided to be a gunner or was it just something which had happened. 

“It’s easy to discharge at any point, really.” Miles says and I feel a note of annoyance in his voice.

“Look, I’ve been with men.” Shit. Shit. “My boyfriend got sent off on my last ship, it just happened that he was caught with the guy he was cheating on me with. It could’ve easily been me. They were both caught, discharged and both are now in jail. I’m not sure... I’m not sure I want that for myself.”

I grab him by his shoulders.

“I’m not saying no. Please, I’m not saying no. I’m just...” I look at him and he doesn’t look pissed, instead a see some relief in his eyes for my obscure behavior. 

“That scared the shit out of you, didn’t it?” Miles asks curiously as I stroke his shoulders, hoping that no one sees this, because this can be interpreted as intimate after all and we already have our uniforms on. 

“Yes.” I just nod, looking at him straight in the eye. 

“Don’t worry, I get it. I never had anyone sent off close to me, usually it’s from some mechanic who I have talked to once or so. It’s still shocking, but usually those who I’ve been with, they still manage their way around, you just do.” Miles shrugs and takes my hand into his and drops it, realizing that I’m really not budging as he glances at me and I just looked down. 

“I wasn’t even thinking you’d be interested in something more... long term.” Miles confesses and we just stare at each other. “I mean, I know you aren’t, but yeah. We could just... y’know, once.”

Oh, I’m not, trust me, because I have to sleep with gay men and fish them out just to leave myself without any suspicion and frankly, you’ll be the time bomb, Miles. 

“You mean a one time shag?” I ask, feeling too tempted to fuck him or have him fuck me, frankly I don’t care and a bunch of images flash in my head and all seem tempting and frankly, I am mad for refusing. 

“Yeah.” Miles smiles, a bit shy and shrugs. I keep my silence and then Miles puts his arm around my shoulders. He turns to face as we walk side by side, I’m happy that this can be seen as a friendly gesture, being hidden makes you wonder and note down what is ok and what isn’t. He sees my concern. “Ok, I’m sorry. Just you...”

“I know. I know, I approached you. I... I mean, you’re attractive.” Miles smirks, shaking his head, as if I had told a inappropriate joke. “You are and well, I saw you back there and yeah...”

“Don’t worry. I’ll still...” We stop for a while and we’re too close. “Try to get you.”

“Sure.” I smirk and Miles kisses me on the cheek. We leave it at that as we get nearer to the ship, but his arm is still around my shoulders, which is not enough contact but is very comforting in a world where we’re not ok. 

We walk back on board the ship and I just want to get off him and find whoever I can find, to report and tell myself that I’ll be ok for a few weeks. We both go quietly into the opposite bunks, he strokes my back and we go apart. I close my curtains, maybe too much of a gesture, but we keep our silence. 

I try to sleep, tracing my lips, knowing that he had kissed them, I still feel the blood rushing through me, spinning me and soon enough sleep catches me, but I nap knowing that I should wake. When I stand up, my eyes are adjusted to the dark and Miles’ curtains are open, but I see him breathing evenly. Jules is back as I have to make sure that I don’t touch his hand. I go back and stand near Miles’ bunk, knowing that if I wake him up we’ll have somewhere to fuck, I’m sure he’ll know, but I dig my nails into the skin, fixing my hat and I head out, opening the door fast to avoid the light and I slip out.

I walk out onto the deck, hoping someone else would be outside and I had forgotten my cigarettes, so I feel like I have a double need to find someone. I keep searching, but I don’t find anyone, so I head to the showers and I sit on the floor for quite a while, hoping that anyone would emerge.

Someone had to be drunk. 

And soon enough a man with light brown hair walks in, stumbling and he looks at me, gives me a little salute and heads towards a cubicle. 

I wait a bit for him to be done, shit.

How do you hook up?

Shit, I had Paul on my neck and Jack had just yanked me out of bed. No wonder I was chosen for this job. I stand up and open the tab, take my hat off and I fill the basin and I stick my head in with force, feeling the cold water try to reach me, but it just pinches my cheeks and that’s it and the man walks out and presses himself against me.

I keep my head underwater, dazzled. 

Well, that’s a start.

I turn around and I see him looking at me.

“I’m... Alex?” I say, not sure how to react and frankly he smells awful and I wonder how the fuck would he do his duties with such a hangover, but then it’s not just him, it will be the entire ship tomorrow, I’m even worried for the Captain, but all he needs to do is read the words in the correct order, of course if he’s going for that. 

“‘M Cookie.” He says and his boner digs into my thigh. 

“Oh, nice to meet you.” And he pushes his mouth on mine. And I don’t have to do anything, he drags me to the cubicle with him and frankly, he doesn’t look like the person who would do this while sober and he’s far too sloppy. But I still get turned on from all that time spent with Miles-

And Cookie’s mouth is on my neck and I wonder

What the fuck I’m I doing?

But if I don’t report, it’s going to be worse, because well... each ship has gay men, it’s a fact and many of them, so me not reporting is being very wrong and I’ll be the one chucked in jail.

Is it better to not know the man?

I press his against the wall, a bit tired of his sloppiness due to alcohol and inexperience and I give him a while as he keeps biting my neck and stroking my cock. 

Ok, he’s rubbish.

And I start kissing him again, lifting his shirt up, stopping for a while before I start trailing my mouth down his body and I undo his pants. I hear a delighted smirk from above as I take his cock in my mouth. I’m literally on the line between why the fuck I’m I doing this and why can’t I fuck Miles.

But as I keep sucking, I feel that the end is near, so I hesitate too much, but I take him out of my mouth.

“Aw, come on.” He says and I look him in the eye. I don’t think I look too happy about his sudden outburst, but I think I’ve achieved what I need, so I just start making out with him again and we hear the door open. I put my hand over his mouth just in case, out of concern and Cookie’s hands make their way to my cock anyway. But other than that, we don’t move, I don’t think I breathe. 

When they take a stall, I wonder if I should slap his hand off my cock, but then that would make noise. We stay like that until they are gone and then I am the one pressed against the wall and Cookie goes to his knees and blows me off. While he does it, I have Miles in my head, I feel guilty for declining him, but I don’t push off the other sailor away, instead I use Miles in mind and I come faster, arching my back before I slam myself against the wall, releasing a loud noise and hitting my back as well, but I need to finish this, so I go on my knees. 

Then I finish Cookie off as well. 

He kisses my forehead, which seems a weird gesture so I pat his shoulder as we both pull our pants off. 

“I really wanted to fuck you, you know. Like...” Fuck’s sake. He mumbles something and I’m getting too irritated both at myself and him. 

“I get it.” I nearly snap, job is done, I don’t have to act nice, really. 

“No, as in, you know, fuck as in.” Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up.

“No, I get it.” And I pat his shoulder even harder. He’s pouting. Lovely.

“We... both have to get up tomorrow, y’know.” I say and I feel like it’s an awful excuse so I press a kiss against his lips, which will be regretful and I feel like Judas all of a sudden, maybe because I am. We walk out of the stall.

“You sure, Al?” Cookie keeps on pouting.

“I’m sure. C’mon, both to the beds. We can continue tomorrow, love boy.” I smirk, knowing that there will be no tomorrow for us, if there ever was an us other than the stall. And I glance at him, still dazzled and waltzing with alcohol. In the end we depart, both of heading towards the bunks and I get back, to still see Miles’ curtains open and I head back into my bunk, glancing sideways, waiting for the darkness to grasp my eyesight. 

I turn towards him, leaving my curtains open.

I end up changing positions as I try to fall asleep and when sleep starts taking my reasoning I stretch out my hand and I try and find him and I get his wrist. I end up getting towards the corner of my bunk and I sigh too audibly, but he doesn’t stir. I stroke his wrist for a bit longer, before I put my fingers over his and I pull away, letting sleep take me. 


This was a massive struggle to get Milex off each other if to be honest -.- and the struggle still follows me. 

Like the near pre-sex scene wasn't s'posed to happen, but I cut it off like literally before it started, so I'm like yay, Im keeping them away from each other.

And then this happened: Don’t worry. I’ll still...” We stop for a while and we’re too close. “Try to get you.”

(throws computer at the wall)

Yup. I fail. I still managed to make them into each other.

I'm still surprised by myself that I managed to make Alex and Cookie have sex. I feel... like I need a medal. XD

Actually Cookie wasn't s'posed to be Alex's first attempt, it was going to be someone else, but I've decided to leave them as the second or even third. Yes, Alex will get serious T___T 

Anyway, Captain Hince will show up again in the next chapter! :D that sure is a damn spoiler. 

Please feel free to tell me to post the next chapter and yeah :D


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