The sexuality has always been kicking in, even before I had thought of it myself, it was the way of just telling you once your lips clash against someone else’s, my eyes were heavily shut during the thought, the hadn’t trying not to linger off to my lips as Miles had shrugged it off, saying that I was straight and it was ok and I wondered what had I been doing among his gay friends, why had I always bothered and I sit there sipping beer, why had I always bothered and I hear them and wonder-
And I’d get ask by my mom why had I always hung around the gay guy, did I want other people to assume that I am gay?
Is that what I had wanted?
I’ve always hung around as Miles’ friend and then to his friends and all had known me, first the rumors started off, but I seemed to be uninterested in everyone, some small spite, until he had kissed me. It was odd and letting the kiss later on run through me as everyone had left and I was staying over at Miles’, his parents are only calm with the fact that he won’t date me and his reply was damn Al never looked twice at me.
So it was even up to the point that we’d be in the same bed and he’d curl up and I’d sigh, patting him on the head until he’d mumble something in his sleep, flip sleepily and turn around.
And it was then when I had walked out, pretty cold and grabbing Miles’ leather jacket which had been much warmer and cooler looking than my own that I had walked out, it had been like moment when I was asked if I wanted to go join everyone in church and the car had broken down, it’s the small moments, when you realize something is just not meant to happen and maybe it had been sleep that day. Or night.
It was early, it was back when we were in high school and Miles had made both of us fake IDs to sneak us both into gay clubs which would involve us getting buckets and Miles dancing to the Pet Shop Boys as I’d just wonder what other stupid game can I download to kill time before Miles would fail to get laid and we’d get the fuck out. I see no point in kicking the underage out of such premises, I mean, I guess where else can you be surrounded by gay men and not get laid? In school you’re surrounded by fuckers who’ll beat you up if they hear a rumor about you being gay.
And they had beaten him up too, maybe that’s how I had recognized him, only his hairstyle was different and he was nowhere near my classes, but maybe if he was he just slacked off too much.
Maybe it was that damn feeling when you walk in, when Miles tries to interpretate dreams or tells me that the dead animals I’ve been seeing mean something, maybe it was just his eyes or the fact that I managed to get close to the stage, as everyone else was focused on the girl who had long hair and was screaming into the microphone, dancing around, bending with every note and he just stood there, sometimes dancing himself or approaching her and I kept watching him, his irrational guitar playing, mine was rubbish and so was his
but it had something.
Something which I don’t think I’ll ever see or maybe he’ll chuck it out, later, but he was playing it and I was there in Miles’ leather jacket, other than that plain clothes, sort of new Vans and he was staring at me and I felt different.
I watched the whole set, my mobile long tucked somewhere at Miles’ and I just
I waited and I felt even more bizarre as I had waited for him outside, he was surely of age, something me and Miles were still to be and I wasn’t really a smoke to do so, so I could only zip the jacket entirely and wonder if I should have bought some cheap beer and walked outside. First the girl walked out, waved at me and I just wanted to ask her when he’d be out, but I didn’t know his name.
“Oh, hold on, Jamie should be out soon.” And she headed off, humming something to herself. Maybe she thought that I was a groupie. I was the only standing here and then the old door flung open and he stepped out. It didn’t even take a second until he noticed me and took the cigarette which was dangling out of his mouth out, putting it behind his ear.
“Oi, I’ve seen you in college.” I blink.
“What?” I do manage to speak and I think I’ve got a bizarre smile playing upon my lips. Jamie searches for his lighter.
“Yeah, you’re Miles’ friend, aren’t you?” I hope Miles’ friend isn’t a code name for friends of Dorothy, I really do. Jamie seems amused by my lack of excitement and puts his arm around my shoulders, now lightening his cigarette slowly and avoiding my gaze until he’s fully sure that I’m watching him and when he knows I am, he leans closer to me, taking a few strands off my eyes and I’m frozen
And he kisses me softly.
It’s too fast and I kissed back, my whole body gone and I don’t even recall that we had went onto the street and I wondered where were we, it had been foggy and I had longed for his lips, but he had remained silent.
“I can drop you off at Miles’.”
“That’s actually where I’m staying.” I manage to reply.
“But you two aren’t fucking?” Jamie smirks and we keep walking and the houses look the same, the only thing different is all my body which is shivering and the arm around my shoulders and the fact that I had just kissed another bloke, it wasn’t even about kissing another bloke, it had been in my dreams, people were in my dreams, but I was never attracted to them neither had I seen them get beat up in the canteen and had the college do shite about it. The only reply had been that it happened and should be forgotten.
I look at him, bruises long gone.
“But he’s fucking Ezra.”
“Well, if he didn’t tell you he surely wants to bend you over.” Jamie smirked. “Can’t blame ‘im.”
I try to shrug it off and I keep looking at the houses, which I’m sure amuses him until we reach the house and only when he leaves I realize that I didn’t tell him anything about his charisma on stage, his music or the kiss, that all had been left for him to take with today’s night, fog and thoughts.
and the idea was left with me, but the story has a very changed version of it, I was thinking of something else initially, so it changed but the idea still remains and yeah, pretty much in the other version Al didn't meet Jamie backstage and it had been after a 2006 concert. And I guess the rest should be silent, as spoilers.
I know this was supposed to be request 11, so I'll take that down and forgive me, I just really felt like writing it >.>
Specific scenes, I think we've all had the don't hang around x child people will think you are also x. -.-
And how Jamie recognizes Al from the canteen was something which happened to me, I got pointed out that they remembered me by seeing me in the canteen months and months ago when I had blonde hair O_o (when I had been months with black xD) so it was nice and odd xD but yeah, Miles' friend was the twist to it here haha xD
And no Gay Bar doesn't have Pet Shop Boys, at least the ones I've been to and you pretty much always sign along to New York City Boy or Go West >.> so yeah.
I will explain the title later on in the story :) and yeah, the story should have two parts, but I dunno how long it'll be honestly xD
Oh and this is a first where Alex and Miles aren't fucking and won't O_o which is weird and I find Miles/Ezra ironic considering that in GI they are like rivals xD
anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request the next chapter, as it's not Milex it will be put in the queue but as you can see everything is a bit chaotic so it might queue jump again, so tell me how much you liked it and I'll write more haha xD