Monday 30 September 2013

Bright

Jealousy is fluid like sexuality.

It just... changes, I guess. You think you’re jealous of one when you’re really jealous of the other. 

He starts bringing her all the time to practice, even if we didn’t allow anyone. He’s back and we’ve got two bassists and no contract again. 

I keep watching them together and I don’t know when my jealousy took a different place, maybe it’s because he hadn’t said sorry before I couldn’t let it go and now it’s as if it’s flowing again.

She had told me she liked my hair colour. Ramona has it now violet with pink. 

She will change it again.

I wonder if she’ll change Scott, too?

And that’s when I start drumming harder, to get the thought out out out of my head. 

Life is dull unlike her hair and those who managed to sneak out with raincoats run outside and I’m stuck with Scott and Ramona.

I watch the rain, before I take my drum sticks with me for no reason and I exit, wondering where would those two head out.

It’s none of my business and frankly everyone always cared about Scott’s love life rather than mine.

What if I’m jealous of her kissing Scott?

What if I’m jealous of someone like Scott getting Ramona?

I couldn’t possibly love both, but my jealousy is shifting. 

When she breaks up with Scott on the next rehearsal I wonder

What has shifted in her as well, as she stares at me

And I don’t know, I just drum, Scott out of the picture for both of us.

I even forget what jealousy is. But something has surely shifted the pendulum on the other side, tilting it entirely so that it reaches my cheek, leaving a mark of a kiss.

-

I was really sceptic of the movie if to be honest and well, I quite enjoyed it and more than the comic if to be honest >.>

feel free to request

<3

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