Thursday, 4 December 2014

- 6

It gets worse every day, it’s like a spell and soon enough the vision of him keeps following me and he barely speaks to me, he’s in my mind when I shower, eat or just stroll around Lisbon, when people yell about football or mourn, when people offer you drugs on the street he’s there

and my desire keeps escalating, maybe lust is a sin after all

I start tracing my nails against the wallpaper, insomnia no longer being a threat but accepted, that all my time here is left with my eyes wide open and I feel like he is slowly starting to gain colour but maybe I’m the one who is draining

He is the devil after all

My hands shake, my chest gets heavier and I close my eyes, holding tears back as it all comes crashing and I’ve even thrown away my mobile charger to make sure I was unreachable. I open my laptop to see e-mails

I don’t even know which things I feel anymore, I type my e-mail with the able hand and open all the e-mails, even a few from my ex, who I just shut the laptop on

Maybe you do have to sell yourself

Images intensify

I give in to see all the gore and where his hands have been for a while, trying not to register, as if I were telling the story to someone because some evil is not even meant to be pronounced aloud or even thought

I wonder-

How many has it been?

In the night when I show up, he knows

I don’t show up with a bouquet and I don’t even know which parts of my body go through anymore and which don’t

My mind seems to be running on its own as he approaches me

He offers me himself

The deal is always what the person would want the most and I smirk

“I would get you anyway” I laugh bitterly, observing, my eyelids burning, all sleep and life-

Have I become a ghost myself?

I tilt my head to watch him-

He’s supposed to be gorgeous once you can

I turn around and I wish I was religious, that I could pray but instead I just slowly start turning around and I know he’s walking behind me, as if I were the devil now

And he follows me and I let him into the apartment with the wooden floors and he just observes and I watch him, far too excited

Emotions for -

He’s not really someone-

I press myself against him harshly, forcing my tongue in and he just presses me against the wall, his sentences tingling in my head, a deal has to be a deal

And I keep refusing as he takes off my shirt and my whole chest freezes up and I feel my side aching and I catch a glimpse of his eyes which go green for a while, I observe him gain colour

Is that all the shapeshifting he can fucking do?

No, he’s in my head.

I take off his coat, his shirt, biting his neck

He motions towards the couch and I lay there as he goes on top of me

And his eyes go red again and I feel breathing fall through me

And he plunges me deeper into the couch,

all my body becoming numb with pain

as I close my eyes

and I briefly feel his lips,

I never seal the deal.

I am chucked to drown between the floors.


It's an odd eerie story and the fact that I pretty much ended up being one of those people who check out the noise in the movie because I got concerned what was actually going on outside, so yeah, please never do that. So I've been pushing away publishing the last chapter and here it is and yeah, I frankly just want this out and that's it. I really enjoyed writing it but the backstory obviously gives me shivers and yeah.

I had ideas where else could the story go, but I'd rather leave it the way it is even if it's well, unclear and it takes a different turn from what I had seen and of course what I saw influenced and etc. I just binged through the last chapters and I think it was around the same time I finished Close, so yeah, I really want all the finished stories out, so that they're not in limbo on the blog, since they're over.

Yeah, what shocked me and Callie when we came was the fact that you frankly get offered drugs on every step, we thought we had probably dressed funky at first and we avoided the region for a bit xD it's really weird how the most minor things may seem the most unusual :) 

Obviously after the encounter whenever I muse about it in my head, everything makes more sense and of course it is oddly interesting, but in no way do venture. I can't go saying, yeah, that was surely what I think it was, but yeah, whenever I speak of it in stories I try to make it quite accurate or at least from what I've seen and read. 

And yeah, it becomes quite a theme and even in stories, where well, it's not touched yet, it's still well a subject and I guess the other story where I address such topics and in more depth, less eerie, kind of, it's 500 where I have Jamie being a medium who encounters a selkie and everything is awfully unsettling. So, I guess if you're looking for eerie stuff, I'd recommend 500 but it has more lighter moments, this story was surely and is the creepiest I've written and will, I believe because the scariest are based on the things you've seen. 

I try to keep people's privacy at times, it doesn't seem much, but I do, so I guess I keep quiet regarding Grimmy even if it's obvious who I presumed as the ex here even if it's not really mentioned. I've been binging on reading fanfiction regarding them, a bit more calmer now, but yeah. 

Yeah, speaking of, make sure nothing trails after you. 

I had a different sort of eerie experience and yeah, of course I boosted up much and much the Jamie/Grimmy ship here, it's much different in life. You're frankly terrified in a bizarre way. You're literally looking at death. Don't go venturing, if you're that interested just google around, that's how I figured what the fuck went on there later. 

The ending of Grimmy being pretty much stuck came to me while we were still in Lisbon, I wanted to ended it on such note even if I had a continuation, a sort of epilogue, but I think I had used the idea elsewhere, so yeah, it's not the nicest of endings but just don't venture and of course this is fictional even if a lot is based, so just don't do as many stupid things as Grimmy did here and of course, I always find everything boring if there's no romance, so yeah, of course that was added.

I hope you enjoyed it and even if I don't think of it often, it's surely one of my proudest works and I honestly love it and I hope you enjoyed it, yeah, let's leave at such. 

Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed it please tell me below or tumblr or twitter anywhere, I'd love to know :3

Or if you want to discuss eeriness I'm happy to, if you've had similar experiences so yeah:)

and yeah, ship-wise, of course more will come. I ship Hince with everyone shamelessly.



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