Threesome14

“Cancelled last minute?” He asks, taking one of the small leaflets lying around, inviting to unwanted events where people would just be forced to head out of the local, an old version of how to kill time eventually. I shake my head, mumbling until I say it louder.

“No, just pushed back a little bit.” I say, taking a second leaflet, glancing outside as if I were to see Kate, but just like any coincidence, they pass and we stumble through all leaflets that even one gets made fast into a plane by Jamie. I let my eyes rest on him, as if it were me to mend something we had both done. I relax my shoulders and my love.

“Remember the time we got delayed a flight for two days because the fog was so fucking bad?” I say, mouth wide, grin forced. I still capture his attention with something I had been with him. Love dissolves and you’re left with what you were before. So who are you really?

When you read things wrongly do you get it right? Had I still been jealous this whole time? And of what exactly when I had been the one to break off everything just to find myself the one full of paradox and how much internalized hate did I have for the world? If no one could count the bones, how could I?

You shouldn’t be unthankful over the people you’ve met as otherwise I would be another number on the suicide rates and over the years of my own suffocation and his, we drifted and I wonder how does it even work for him, sometimes passing days don’t make sense but they make sense to either longing in a romantic sense or confusion.

We write unhappy stories because we didn’t get ours and we write them to others because a happy ending when there is none is suffocating as well.

And you don’t realize how much it’s sometimes seen where are you from, it adds confusion to the last layer of separation.

And it gets worse because if I were to open to someone new, I would forget all the things I’ve told, even if they were stored in Jamie’s mind, it was as if they wouldn’t be mine anymore to share and it would end up with me not opening solely because I wouldn’t recall exactly what had I first heard on the skatepark, some memories would be erased with his and it would end up in some mutual exchange with me simply not holding the memory anymore.

Are we with people just because they hold they keys we no longer hold with age?

And how would I even present myself to Kate post-coital and I tried to shake off the thought, because I had told myself that sex was sex and that was it, all the love interruption was for me and Jamie to share and stop exploring onstage. 

And all of a sudden a new home emerges, new memories take over and does that mean that they rewrite you as well? So in theory you would be able to rewrite yourself entirely? I seem to look at Jamie and I know that until the very recent we had built each other in a way, even if he were to deny his behalf. A relationship is between two people entirely. 

Sexual resolution eases depression, at least for the post-coital state and it elevates love or anything into love. Misery fills up life and gives it the oxygen, because if life were meaningless, the sense of that is painful in it’s self and how we are free to do anything. There is nothing great in pure freedom, because we end up giving ourselves rules.

Being free is a rule. 

-

The story has a a lot of twists and turns, but your thoughts and conclusions can change many times a day due to a person, so I guess that's where it comes from, the story is going back to it's roots and I guess how the title suggests, really. I dunno, it's one of those stories which I really like. I like all my stories xD I think updates show it xD I'm also awfully tired so that's why I chose to choose something shorter to write a backstory for because I'm awfully drained and I need to wake early to be frank xD otherwise it would've been To Miles, I feel awful that I don't have many Christmas stories here xD or any in mind, I'll see if I'll think of something tomorrow and of course there's Man On The Moon pleading to get written so maybe I'll have that out:3 which is odd because I'm in a Christmas mood, but I'm not really writing Christmas stuff.

I had binged a few chapters of Threesome, so they were up my sleeve:3 and in general I still love Alison/Jamie as a ship, so yeah. I love writing about them and I love Kate, I always have xD

The fog was actually something me and Callie got stuck in the beginning of the year and I think it took weeks even because it was just so so fucking bad -.- to get out, ugh

People keep us alive, really.

It's quite a "don't tell anyone anything otherwise you'll start missing them" sort of vibe in this chapter, I'm sorry if I've quoted The Catcher in the Rye wrong xD and I kind of had to reread it for my Highers quite a while ago now, it's really weird to see how far I've come in a year, so thank you to all. Thank you

I kind of wanted to challenge Alison's desire to be alone which isn't what she portrays really, so yeah

I hope you enjoyed it and please tell me fi you did:3

and if you want a Christmas gift from me, ask for a story and I'll see what I can do :3

<3

Jamie