Wednesday, 3 December 2014

There Is Something About Jack White 6

There was a loud noise, breaking glass, as if an entire bottle broken into something smaller than shards, something like glitter to reveal your blood and I stared at Jack who had been taken his eyes to be glue to the window and he presses himself against the wall, opening the curtain to let an eye peek out.

“Could’ve been a gunshot.” And I imagined three men saying nothing to the bleeding man who they wounded.

“They could’ve killed him.” I murmur wobbling through the pile of clothes, food and nothing to get to Jack as I press my fingers into his waist, the skin which is revealed by both the shirt and jeans. And we both peek as the three men walk towards a kiosk and we both glance back at the room now with the light and the shadows hiding under nothing and I see them dragging a body and I lie on the floor, covering my eyes and Jack holds my palms.

“It’s odd. Once you come out, you notice how many lesbians are there, because you look at women and they actually look back at you and men who know but want to come inside you because you think of women.” I smirk.

“I guess.” He says and takes his hands off, leaning back and I see Jack now sitting in the restaurant becoming present tense, eating soup, in a hat still and his curls showing, eyes closing with every spoon and Agyness just pulls me in order to face the spider to make the fear disappear with glass dust.

And we both sit there for a while, Agyness observing, letting the spider out as if you are flying over a city and you see the lights crawling and forming monsters with jewels and he just keeps eating after he greets, signalizing his hunger and I see some woman with him and I feel how strong it feels with a woman on my side and I just lean my head against the covers covering the wooden table, a small, cheap but good place and Jack’s soup would be something he always chose. 

He orders it away, flipping already through desert and my night meets his night and our eyes look away, Jack comments on my light hair and me and Agyness barely order, setting on coke and water, two identical salads and Agyness comments on his new album and I just say nothing even if I’ve admitted to have said it good on the magazines, plain courtesy, no matter how shit, still comment and smile like when Jamie had married.

I recall sitting there and him commenting on my brake with Jack and the misery of seeing him with a somewhat okay Karen, so I just stood up and with Jamie fluttering around his wife everything was too hard and Jack had been just as tense, looking, smoking a cigar unlike the cigarettes I had shared just like with Agyness.

People say that smoking is a great way to meet people and I always hated that, I always smoked alone, not being able to light a cigarette or my lips with other people and I’d just stare even a bit teary eyed in a more of a leave me alone manner, ready to plomp against the wall and sit there with celebrations of matrimony behind me at Jamie’s wedding as I sat there alone and eventually Jack walked in to the behind and mentioned briefly a divorce with Karen, maybe drunk, maybe the stars shone too much and I snapped what the fuck did he want and he just shrugged and left, opening and closing the door a lot of times.

I had a dream that he was pulling up my pink then hair up and down, sideways, letting it crash onto my shoulders, sometimes I still wonder and hesitate why people wonder about the beginning, the first sex and everything, the first kiss, how I had started yelling at him that I were a lesbian not for my hatred of men but my love for women, as if I had fired a gun above his head he looked at me like a deer in headlights and I fired, I recall our first kiss, how he had pinned me against the wall, his tongue as deep as he could, hands running over me and I was attracted.

Now, exhaling the smoke, sometimes I understand all the men hatred from all the stories and women are just as dumb, just that women have more historical reasons to hate men, lesbians were even barely mentioned in history while gay men were sort of there, I’m not sure, but still, I inhale and look at Agyness, wanting to leave Jack White who chose no desert and just kept staring at his own fingers of misfortune and the tunes he no longer plays with all the bands to fill in gaps of me, Meg, Karen and whoever was ever there, sometimes looking at Jack White I see a lonely man who might’ve been shot by women, but all women were also shot by men, lesbian, gay even if it were a man or woman we were all shot and have our sins, fears and angers.

Me and Agyness leave the restaurant lighting a cigarette at the end of the stop, exhaling at the moon which I had once looked at with Jack. 


And I know, I binge wrote it years and years ago when I had visit Callie back in Brazil. So, yeah, I'm sorry I kept it under wraps for quite a while. Sometimes I get anxious if the story gets liked, so I just keep it under wraps and now I'm literally forcing myself to post one thing at a day, behind I'm so behind and I've got a lot of stories like this one, which are like literally one chapter away from ending and yeah.

I really like it, but I've written it so long ago so that it falls under the "old stories" and in general I really like it, because I'm not bisexual so I don't really put it under the spotlight often when I had it and I think it was back when I had toyed if I was gay or bisexual, so I was awfully confused since as I found out that my sexuality is fluid, which annoys me that people erase, but doesn't devaluate that bisexuality needs its visibility, I just get ticked off when people claim that if you like more than one gender, you're bisexual, because I'm awfully fluid, so yeah. But we all get angry, we all over claim at times and we all want visibility, so yeah, I really love There Is Something About Jack White for that.

I also miss writing Agy, I should really include her more now that Alison is problematic and I've mused it on it, I'll continue all the stories because well, they still sold that image of her which I still adore, well, old Alison and I'll see maybe I'll publish a story which has open monologue on it, I'll see. So yeah, I have many things stashed. So it still comes with a tad bit of effort to open up, because I do want to, I want my thoughts to be seen and how the stories take shape and I feel that I can't just hold them back, so yeah. Keep checking back every day, now I'm forcing myself under Advent Calendar but everything will keep pushing so that I'll keep posting a chapter of something every day:)

I'm sorry if I'm slow on the stories which I've been asked about, I'm slowly working, I just didn't write anything besides To Miles frankly for a month, so I'm catching up on older ones and etc:) 

I wrote this back when I was in a Jack White phase and I was just in awe from seeing him and I get interested in people, I try to crack them to write them down, I love doing that and I just kept musing on Jack White and it shows in the story. Of course a lot of conclusions are wrong and I end up understanding that over time and I love reading other people's theories and like today I was reading on The Kills and I just kept finding counter evidence in my head as I kept reading even if they had a lot of insight on the period when they dated, which I didn't read and Callie recalled reading (Callie was a bigger fan in the beginning xD it takes me a while to start checking viciously on the band :) )

Also the story ends up in a circle, the said restaurant. I love and miss the format of the shortness of the novels and I had used it again in Start Finding Passion which I had finished recently for the Advent Calendar as well:3

It's interesting to read because acceptance went forward thankfully in ways so my thoughts are different back then. And things I say here are more known and accepted, it's interesting and yeah:)

I'm surprised that I actually made a lot of sense back then and it's nice to see that my consciousness had good feelings of equality even if here I obviously cover the bisexual woman's world, which frankly, we all focus on our world's first and our problems because now it's sole survival.

I hope you had enjoyed it and thank you so much

I just remember that my thoughts abrupt and I knew that it was the story's end and I was happy, sad and miserable, but happy, because I had finished it and I love short novels

I hope you enjoyed it and please tell me in the comments below or wherever that you enjoyed it through out, because I'm always anxious and thank you so much



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