Christmas Carol

I hate how people overdecorate a holiday. No one puts Easters eggs on the lawn like my neighbors used to put lights all over the ground on Christmas that everyone had to walk in through the backdoor and of course that only applied to the family, everyone else could step and break the lights, because the family has Christmas inside while the rest, we don’t.

Not really.

Instead the house looks like a mistletoe shrine and slowly paper tissues start filling the floor up like snow as Jamie walks around sneezing, him avoiding the NHS at all costs for an unknown to me reason and throwing tissues all over and any kind of doctor syrups and medicine left from Kate who left to Peru for some shoot and party she should attend.

I sit and look at the jungle sky with all the mistletoes and I glance at Jamie who keeps coughing and avoiding medicine due to some heavy allergic reaction he had in childhood, instead he drinks tea and worsens his taste with chain smoking and opening windows to let the snow in.

Eyelashes turn into snow as he stares and smoke runs out of his mouth and his fingers turn an even blue as he opens his eyes and I see the wrinkles around his face and a very light stubble due to the late time and how the clock starts ticking as if it could be New Year.

But it’s not and Kate will be back for New Year and Jamie will give Lila Grace the gift I helped him choose because he had forgotten and didn’t ask Kate.

I walk behind him and I put my hands on his shoulders and slide them down to his elbows and he leans his head back, but still nowhere close mine.

It shall be the hug.

And my head against his back

Let it be the kiss

And let Christmas be New Year

For once

But it’s not once the clock strikes all it can

And the silence thickens

With the snow

And he closes his eyes

To drag the cigarette and a gone Christmas out

Jamie closes the window, not turning around and gripping the handles stronger, his fingers and even blue

Which I look upon

And want to kiss

But I don’t

And that becomes Christmas again

Forever

Because the wrinkles stay on his face after the snow melts and we hold, never ever kissing again.

Just holding.

A cry and a tear and a scream.

-

I actually really enjoy Christmas and I end up giving the opposite when I write xD

The Circle